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Mercy Train
A poignant look at three generations struggling with loss and love.
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Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

Created: 06/03/12

Replies: 12

Posted Jun. 03, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
admin

Join Date: 10/11/10

Posts: 369

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Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

Are there any questions that this book brought up that you’ve ever wanted to ask your mother but
couldn’t? What are they?


Posted Jun. 04, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

My mother and I don't speak, for complicated reasons, but if we did I'd like to know more about her life and what she knows about my grandmother's life as much as hers. Our family has loads of skeletons in our closet and I'm not sure how much I actually want to know about that. Some of what I do know is upsetting, already. It would make a great novel but I don't know if I'd want it told.


Posted Jun. 05, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
peg

Join Date: 08/11/11

Posts: 29

RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

I would like to have her tell me more about her mother. All I knowmis that she did not like my mother which is interesting because I felt my mother really liked and supported me.

Is also interesring that my two sisters had a very differeent relationship with her.


Posted Jun. 05, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
annar

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 31

RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

No, I loved talking to my Mother and asking her about her life as a child and young girl. I recorded many of her stories and think they would make a great book. She was one of ten children and lived in rural Oklahoma. Even though they were very poor, she had many adventures.


Posted Jun. 09, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

Now that I am an adult there are all kinds of questions I would love to ask my mother if she were still alive. She was the youngest of ten children just as I am. I would love to know about her childhood and about her mother and father. I have no idea where they came from. All the older generation has died off.


Posted Jun. 09, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
susanr

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 87

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

My mother wrote a book about her life from birth until 18. She also included a lot of information about her parents and grandparents. But she never wrote anything about her after getting married. Luckily, she is still alive -- 90 and still mentally sharp so I can ask her questions.


Posted Jun. 09, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
alice

Join Date: 03/06/12

Posts: 11

RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

I would be interested in knowing more about my mother's growing up years in NYC. Her mother came to America from Russia at about age 14 by herself and was married young in N.Y. There was a funny story my mother told me that when she was born she was so small that her mother put her in the oven to keep her warm (this was instead of an incubator. I don't know the details of that or if there is any truth to the story). She had a number of secretary jobs and then married my Father who was a successful Attorney. She was NOT ashamed of her childhood but had certainly moved up in the world so did not dwell on her growing up or share much about it.
Alice


Posted Jun. 10, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 248

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

My mother did write a sort of memoir that was a brief synopsis of the significant events in her life which all of her children (8) have read and find interesting and she and her numerous relatives talked much about their young lives at all the many, many large family reunions etc. so I am fairly familiar with it all. I do wish I had been wise enough to ask her some of how she felt and dealt with some things. She lost her mother when she was six and was raised by a much loved maiden aunt and I guess I would like to know how she was affected by that. Also in 1929 she had been working as a clerk for several years in a grocery store and putting much of her earnings in savings and when the banks crashed she lost all of that which must have been pretty traumatic and I wish I had discussed that more with her. Fortunately I have two sisters who are 9 and 7 years older than me and I sometimes pick their brains about things and find out stuff that I hadn't known.


Posted Jun. 10, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Navy Mom

Join Date: 04/12/12

Posts: 100

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

I don't have any questions, but I do think my relationship with my mom was like Iris and Sam's. When I was in my 40's I finally felt like I actually was building a relationship with my mom. Unfortunately, she died before we actually got to a good place. I always knew she loved me, but it seemed detached and I often felt like I didn't measure up to her expectations. I know now that most of that was in my head because she was aloof and I think now going through her own insecurities.


Posted Jun. 20, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jeanettel

Join Date: 01/05/12

Posts: 29

RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

I know my mother’s story very well but since I read this book I have started telling my two daughters snippets of my past so that they can know my story.


Posted Jun. 20, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

jeanettel, hopefully someday your daughters will recognize and appreciate your efforts to pass on their family heritage in this way.


Posted Jun. 23, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
raynat

Join Date: 02/29/12

Posts: 22

RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

Oh yes, there are so many. Also for my father who died when I was 19 before I grew up enough to know he had lots to teach me and tell me. My mother was ill most of my life so we never had many discussions either.

Consequently I am trying to write a story of my life for my children so they will know who I was.


I identified with Caroline since I am also an adoptive mother. Although I didn't feel anything like her. I was ready to be a mother and took it on with a positive attitude. Also I don't approve of open adoption so I wouldn't like all the people in the story to be involved in our lives.

I loaned this book to several of my friends and they just said it was O.K. I liked the book and wanted to find out how they all interacted with each other even though I wouldn't like that for my life.
Posted Jun. 27, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

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RE: Are there any questions you've wanted to ask your mother but couldn't?

Raynat, that's a fantastic idea to write your story for your kids. I'd like to do that, too, including photos from their childhood, vacations, holidays, etc. I can self publish one for each of them, plus one to keep. These days we're lucky we can do such things so easily.


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