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The Dry Grass of August
"A must-read for fans of The Help." - Woman's World
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If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

Created: 12/02/11

Replies: 11

Posted Dec. 02, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 483

Expert

If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral? Why?


Posted Dec. 03, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jeann

Join Date: 11/14/11

Posts: 41

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

Absolutely I would have gone to Mary's funeral. I would have shown Mary this respect. I would have needed to say goodbye to her and to speak to her family. This woman was raising Paula's children. Mary was a loving person who had helped Paula in so many ways. The very least Paula could have done was go to Mary's funeral.
Uncomfortable situation? Yes. But, too much to ask? NO.


Posted Dec. 03, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bethp

Join Date: 04/28/11

Posts: 8

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

Most definitely. She owned that to her. Mary helped her to raise her kids, and you knew that Paula really did care about Mary. It obviously tortured her that she did not go...


Posted Dec. 05, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
susang

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 4

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I would like to say yes, and Paula said she knows she should have. But racism in the South in the 50s was a powerful thing, and for someone like Paula, who was weak, I doubt she could have done it. Until any of us were in the shoes of white women during that time, I don't think we should feel that we would have gone.


Posted Dec. 07, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jknapp

Join Date: 04/11/11

Posts: 37

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I am thinking about this from Paula's character and the times. This was a conflicted woman who knew that the right thing to do was to go to the funeral. She did not stand up for herself, protect her children or really defend Mary most of the time. I think I would have gone and taken my children to allow them closure, but that is from a current prospective not from a 50's prospective. Paula did eventually show some independence but long after Mary died.


Posted Dec. 08, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
susanr

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 80

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RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I think that Mary was a self centered product of her times. Even if she really thought that she should go to the funeral, she wasn't strong enough to go against the social norms of her time and go.


Posted Dec. 08, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
susanlsimon's Gravatar
susanlsimon

Join Date: 12/05/11

Posts: 8

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I would definitely have gone to the funeral..Mary loved Paula's children..that alone would make me want to show my respect to her.


Posted Dec. 19, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dorothym

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 21

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I would like to think I would have gone but if I were Paula with all that baggage, I suspect I would not have.


Posted Dec. 20, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sharonp

Join Date: 04/27/11

Posts: 9

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I would have tried to. I can see why she wouldn't want to "rock the boat" by going


Posted Dec. 20, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dave s

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 20

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

This is a hard question to answer -- by today's standards, the answer is of course yes. But by the cultural norms of the time, it is not so easily answered. Bucking the norms is not an easy thing to do---societal pressures create difficult choices between what your brain versus your heart thinks. In Paula's case, her brain won over her heart. For Jubie, it was just the opposite and what makes her decision somewhat believable is her age---younger folks tend to have less inhibitions than older adults


Posted Dec. 28, 2011 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 214

Expert

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I wish I could say I would have gone but I think maybe I too would have been swayed by the so called proper conduct of the times and the 'What will people think?' mentality and stayed away secure in the thought I was doing the 'Right' thing.


Posted Jan. 31, 2012 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sylviaj

Join Date: 09/14/11

Posts: 30

RE: If you were Paula, would you have gone to Mary's funeral?

I absolutely would have gone to the funeral. I believe even during that time that people wouldn't have objected to Paula going to the funeral of the woman who took care of her children and she even mentioned to Jubie that she should have done more for Mary out of respect for her after her death.


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