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The Comfort of Lies
"The characters crackle with both intelligence and wit." - Kirkus
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Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

Created: 04/27/13

Replies: 14

Posted Apr. 27, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
admin

Join Date: 10/11/10

Posts: 369

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Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

Do you think that "emotional cheating" is ultimately different from physical cheating? What about lying versus "lying by omission"?


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
tillieh

Join Date: 04/28/11

Posts: 60

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RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

Yes. Emotional cheating is very different in that emotional cheating doesn't really involve an outright action. I think that you can emotionally cheat and keep things very "status quo" on the outside without anyone ever becoming the wiser. Physical cheating is a bit harder to keep concealed forever. Lying by omission is oftentimes done to protect someone rather than just trying to cover something up.


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
irisf

Join Date: 01/16/12

Posts: 63

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RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

It depends upon the nature and depth of the relationship. If it takes time and emotional commitment from your mate it can be very destructive. If it is ok to be emotionally connected to a member of the same sex without it being considered destructive then I don't see why that same kind of attachment should be any different with a member of the opposite sex.


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
irisf

Join Date: 01/16/12

Posts: 63

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RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

As for lying by omission if you're in a situation where you must be secretive, it's crossed a line


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
malindan

Join Date: 05/10/12

Posts: 48

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

Physical cheating and emotional cheating are different. I would much rather hear that my husband had a one night stand than to hear that he had an ongoing deep relationship with a female for a long period of time. If someone has such a deep attachment with someone other than their mate then one would wonder a bit about what is being disclosed. I would feel more betrayed by having my privacy violated than anything else. That being said some people will make the subject of their spouse off limits when they are having a physical affair. How anyone could possibly think it lessens the immorality of the affair is beyond me. Both types of cheating can destroy a relationship.


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
melissap

Join Date: 06/01/12

Posts: 7

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

I think cheating is cheating--it doesn't matter to me whether it is emotional or physical. Both to me signal a violating of trust.


Posted May. 21, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
mariannes

Join Date: 12/17/12

Posts: 170

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RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

I'm having trouble deciding when a close friendship turns into emotional cheating. I guess emotional cheating would have an element of desire, even if it isn't acted upon. That kind of relationship would be very dangerous for a marriage, I think. I do think men and women can be just friends, although I suppose the danger of it developing into something more is always there.


Posted May. 21, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lynnw

Join Date: 09/01/11

Posts: 53

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RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

There is a difference between emotional and physical cheating, but I feel they can both be destructive. Even if nothing physical occurs, emotional cheating is still taking you away from someone and can be even more painful to the other person if you are totally obsessed with this person.
As for lying by omission, I am torn on this one. Sometimes we omit things that would simply be hurtful to someone but are not that important. But hiding things, like an affair, are just wrong.


Posted May. 22, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bestmartin's Gravatar
bestmartin

Join Date: 02/20/13

Posts: 14

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

I too think they are very different. Also I wouldn't call a close friendship with someone, male or female, to be emotional cheating. I think you can have clear boundaries about avoiding physical intimacy and thereby not cross any lines. In fact several close male friendships I have had have become better friends of my husband's. I certainly don't follow the pattern in the book. I just don't differentiate between male and/or female friendships. To me both are essential. One of my best male friends ( who is now a close friend of my husbands) took me out for lunch every week for the last three months of my pregnancy and helped me feel attractive and not just a pregnant blob!!!


Posted May. 24, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
judym

Join Date: 10/29/11

Posts: 15

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

Emotional cheating differs only by the physical act of actually cheating.Often times emotional cheating can be worse as I believe that a stronger bond/love can come from an emotional relationship. I think for someone who is willing to physically cheat, it could be just about touch with no real feelings involved (although certainly not always true.)


Posted May. 25, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
janen

Join Date: 06/01/11

Posts: 32

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

I think that cheating is cheating and once a cheater always a cheater. Emotional cheating is in my book worse because the person being cheated on never really knows the when or the whys of it. As bestmartin, says, friendship is not cheating, but you need to be careful. It is very easy to cross a line and put more into the friendship and starting cheating.

Again lying is lying. There is an old saying "oh what tangled webs we weave when we practice to deceive".. This was certainly true in this book !I feel that it is always better to tell the truth. Truth should not be a weapon, but a friend will and should always tell you the truth.


Posted Jun. 04, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
pennyn's Gravatar
pennyn

Join Date: 10/21/10

Posts: 23

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

I thought this answer over. I don't think I can determine which is worse...I know that it hurts the heart the in same way.


Penny
Posted Jun. 05, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
amberb

Join Date: 07/28/11

Posts: 33

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

I think lines are easily crossed with both, but I think that physical cheating is way worse. Both hurt the other person tremendously, but physically cheating would seem more intentional and for me, inexcusable.


Posted Jun. 06, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
barbarab

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 35

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

It doesn't matter, it all hurts!


Posted Sep. 08, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
diwolter

Join Date: 05/19/12

Posts: 5

RE: Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission?

Yes, I do believe emotional cheating is different than physical cheating in obvious ways --- but I agree that both can be irreparably damaging to a relationship. Recovering from emotional cheating is often harder to deal with than just a brief, sexual fling because emotions are often much harder to understand and resolve for all parties concerned.


I agree with emfremont, he is trying to share what's tangible and intangible in his life in a way that will carry his life forward within those he loves.

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