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The Comfort of Lies
"The characters crackle with both intelligence and wit." - Kirkus
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do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

Created: 04/27/13

Replies: 15

Posted Apr. 27, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
admin

Join Date: 10/11/10

Posts: 369

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Do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

Legality aside, do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah? Does Juliette have a right to know Savannah?


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kathym

Join Date: 09/14/11

Posts: 12

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

Absolutely not. While it is a huge decision to give your child up for adoption, you have severed your rights to that child. If when the child makes the decision to pursue his biological parents that is a different story.


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
tillieh

Join Date: 04/28/11

Posts: 60

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RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

Speaking as an adoptive mother... Our adoption was an open one (which was apparently the situation here because Caroline was sending pictures) and the biological mother in our situation was supposed to be able to see him, I discovered early on that she would not be a good influence on him and pretty much severed ties. I posted his picture in the local paper each year so she could see him grow that way. If she had tried to claim custody of my son, I would have fought it tooth and nail because of the type of person she was. If she had been a really good person, then perhaps I would have agreed to more sharing, but never giving up my custody. As it turned out, he met her when he was 18. He has a very strained relationship with her and we have come to the conclusion that I was right to sever ties when I did and he is glad that it worked out that way.


Posted May. 20, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
peg

Join Date: 08/11/11

Posts: 29

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

I cannot generalize...it would depend on the people involved. my daughter adopted a son from Guatemala and has the picture of his mother. but that is it. if indeed the mother wanted further contact i imagine my daughter might allow it.. but then circumstances and individual characteristics would male all the difference.


Posted May. 21, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Sharlene

Join Date: 04/10/13

Posts: 30

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

I do not believe that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Savannah, especially after that period of time. I cannot think of anything more heartwrenching for a child of five than to be taken from the parents who have loved and raised her and returned to a mother she did not know, regardless of how much the biological mother may have loved her. I can't imagine that in a open adoption too much contact with the biological mother would be a good thing. My mother divorced when I was an infant and later married a man who adopted me. Every time I was angry with either parent I longed to run away and live with my real father who I just knew loved me and would be good to me. It wasn't until much later that I learned what a worthless individual he really was. I think too much contact with the biological parents would be very confusing. When the child is older, he/she should have the option to pursue whatever relationship he wishes.


Posted May. 21, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
mariannes

Join Date: 12/17/12

Posts: 149

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RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No, Tia gave up rights to Savannah because she couldn't bear to be reminded of Nathan. She needs to think of what is best for her daughter. I don't see how it could ever be good to take a child away from a loving family, even if that family isn't perfect. An uprooted child would spend the rest of her life fearing that she could lose every thing she loved on someone else's whim.


Posted May. 21, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
pate

Join Date: 03/15/13

Posts: 17

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No, especially after so much time had passed. The emotional havoc that would result could only end up hurting Savannah. However, I think there would be less harm in having occasional contact with Honor./Savannah and handled properly, could work. I was not a big fan of Tia throughout the story, but applaud her efforts at the end to give up the pursuit of custody and move on with her life.


Posted May. 23, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
cherylb

Join Date: 12/04/12

Posts: 5

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No, I don't. Tia legally gave up her rights at Savannah's birth, and for years, Savannah has been living with her adoptive family. You can't expect to a child to just give up the only parents she's known for a mom she never knew.


Posted May. 25, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
janen

Join Date: 06/01/11

Posts: 32

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No I don't. I agree with many of the posts. Tia needed to start thinking about what was best for he child, not how she could get Nathan back. In the end she did the right thing.


Posted May. 27, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
Beth350

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 64

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RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No, not really. She certainly had the right to knowledge about her, but having once given up the child for adoption, she has no right to come back and expect or demand a mother's role. It is enough that the child knows she exists and the reason for her abandonment.


Posted May. 28, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bethb

Join Date: 04/08/13

Posts: 6

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

Definitely not!! Tia gave up those rights long ago. Also she would not be a good candidate for motherhood at this stage -- pity poor Savannah if she should be saddled with such an immature and self-serving person!!


Posted May. 29, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
amberb

Join Date: 07/28/11

Posts: 33

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No - not at all! That would have been bad for everyone involved - even Tia, but especially Savannah! Tia knew that it would be devastating to give her daughter up - and it was - but I think it was the best thing for Savannah.


Posted May. 29, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
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dianed

Join Date: 09/14/11

Posts: 11

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

I don't like it when a birth parent tries to reclaim a child, especially once that child is old enough to be attached to its adoptive family. Believe me, when I say my heart goes out to women who have given their children up to adoption, but I feel (as others seem to) they should wait till the child is 18 to make contact.

I'm not sure how I feel about Juliette getting to know Honor/Savannah. It seemed sort of weird to me. I think, in the same circumstances, I would have kicked Nathan out of my life and gone on with it; but everyone is different.


Posted May. 30, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
maribethk

Join Date: 09/04/11

Posts: 7

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

No, no, no!!! I found Tia to be perhaps the most irritating character. She needed some major therapy to be able to let go of her past - her daughter and her mother.


Posted Jun. 06, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
barbarab

Join Date: 04/15/11

Posts: 29

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

A big fat NO!! She was very immature & selfish.
As far as Juliette is concerned, she should let it rest or maybe have another baby herself. Nathan was the only character who made sense to me.


Posted Jun. 08, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lindas

Join Date: 12/26/11

Posts: 9

RE: do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah?

NO! She gave up her rights when she signed the adoption papers. Tia was in no position to be a mother--she needed to move on! (Harsh I know).


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