(If you have children) How does your temperament compare to those of your children? How do you handle areas where you’re not temperamentally compatible?
Join Date: 10/11/10
Join Date: 06/16/11
Both of my children are definitly extroverts which I am not. They need to be going someplace and doing something with other people a lot of the time and have huge circles of friends. I have a lot of acquaintances and a few close friends that I see regularly but not necessarily frequently. In relating to my adult kids there is not a problem. They fiqured me out a long time ago and know I will frequently bow out of certain activities and stay home a lot more than they are willing to.
Join Date: 04/17/11
I have one of each. My college age daughter is extremely extroverted and has a large circle of friends. She is always happiest when she is in large groups of people. My teenage son is more like me. We have a few close friends and although we enjoy occasional social events we prefer a quiet night home. I find that my house is more peaceful and harmonious when my daughter is away at school and when she comes home it's like a tornado coming through. She is a lot of fun and we enjoy her energy but we all feel a sense of relief when we can wind down after a visit.
Join Date: 03/22/12
Join Date: 01/12/12
All three of my children are like me - introverts - in varying degrees. My daughter (oldest child) is the most extroverted but by the standards of society she's still an introvert. My boys are more introverted, like I am. I'd like all my children to feel content with their choices, to have enough friends and activities and not be singled out, as I was. It is harder when you can't give yourself the push you need to interview for jobs well - which I can, after years of practice - and get yourself "out there" enough to make relationships. But we're all happiest when we're home together, I'd have to say, not that we never go anywhere.
The older I get the more I firmly believe there's nothing wrong with my personality, that it's the rest of the world that needs to lay off. If I had a dollar for every time someone commented on my quietness I'd be a rich woman. I don't comment on other people being loudmouths, or fat, or any other obvious trait/circumstance, so why do they feel okay telling me I'm quiet, which I obviously know? I find that irritating.
Join Date: 04/16/12
lisag, I too find it irritating that people feel like they can comment on being quiet, as if that is a horrible trait to have. Just this afternoon I was in a meeting and all I could think of was that there was one man who was making a fool of himself by being loud and obnoxious and not giving anyone else time to speak. I know him fairly well, and while he does often have good ideas, a lot of people are turned off by his manner. Upper management though feel he is a 'real go getter' just because of his loudness and ability to grab the limelight (by force I might add). I would love it if they were required to read this book to see the kind of contributions that people with other attributes can provide.
Join Date: 07/28/11
Join Date: 05/12/11
Great question....my older son is a super extrovert...he loves to go out, has many friends and is the life of the party. My younger son is much more like me, has a few close friends, is more quiet and thoughtful about things and people and is basically a homebody.
Join Date: 04/21/11
Both of our son's are quiet, but they stick up for themselves. As adults they are in leadership positions, they just don't need to be center stage. When our second son got married, a member of the family commented, that we were like the grooms parents in the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. When our older son was in the second grade, the school had his hearing tested, because he wasn't responding to questions. I quizzed him on his non-responses, and he stated, that they were asking him stupid questions. What a great book.
Join Date: 10/20/10
Join Date: 12/18/12
Of my 4 children, one is an extreme introvert (coupled with extreme shyness/social anxiety), the other three range from relatively introverted to ambivert to mildly extroverted. Reading Quiet made me really see the differences. The mild extrovert is often frustrated with my lack of enthusiasm for her many and constant activities although she just moves on and enjoys herself whatever she does. The extreme introvert can only take short amounts of group (family) time (e.g. a dinner together) and then goes to her room to restore herself. Not surprisingly, she is a big reader. This book goes to her next.
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