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Five Days


"A brilliant meditation on regret, fidelity, family, and second chances that ...
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Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

Created: 05/03/13

Replies: 7

Posted May. 03, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert

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Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

"That's been one of the unwritten rules of our friendship: we tell each other everything we want to share. We ask advice and give it reciprocally. But we stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff" ( page 50). Do you think this is a good "rule" for friends to have? What would you have said to Laura if you were Lucy?


Posted May. 08, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
barbluvstennis

Join Date: 07/16/11

Posts: 22

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

I always try and check my motives when addressing friends, family or even strangers...and I try to never give unsolicited advice.


Posted May. 08, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Retired Reader, NE

Join Date: 09/16/11

Posts: 165

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

I felt Laura and Lucy had the perfect balance of caring for one another but knowing when not to step in. They were definitly there for each other.


Posted May. 10, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
RRO

Join Date: 07/18/11

Posts: 43

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

I agree with Retired Reader: Laura and Lucy were definitely there for each other but were non-judgmental towards the other. This created a true friendship where each could lean on the other.


Posted May. 13, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Navy Mom

Join Date: 04/12/12

Posts: 294

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

RRO, I think you are right, it has to do with judging. They stop short because they aren't going to judge. A friendship lasts because of acceptance. Of course, if one of them was going to do something that would do harm, I am sure they would step in


Posted May. 15, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
laurieh

Join Date: 04/04/12

Posts: 17

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

I think we all have "friendships" with people that mirror Lucy and Laura. I know I do. There are only a select few that know all the pieces of me, and those are my oldest friends. It takes a close relationship to tell everything there is to tell. It is always a threat to some relationships if you let someone see the "real" you. My Mom always said, you have a lot of acquaintances, but probably only one friend. Using this statement, I would say Lucy and Laura had a relationship of convenience not a real friendship.


Posted May. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Suzanne

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 281

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

I believe Laura and Lucy were into a real friendship. After Laura left Boston and went to Lucy's she held nothing back about her relationship with Richard. Laura listened and although she may not have orally given all her opinions, her body language did. So the "stuff" business didn't apply this time.


Posted May. 21, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

RE: Laura and Lucy share a lot but "stop short of saying what we really feel about the other’s stuff". Do you think this is a good rule for friends? What would you have said if to Laura if you were Lucy?

I'm feeling conflicted here. If two people are close friends I don't see why you wouldn't trust each other enough to share really intimate problems, to bounce things off another person and get her opinion. Presumably, if you're very good friends you don't have to worry about judgment or being told you're crazy to even consider doing anything. I think it's a sign of a fairly shallow - or at least not really close - relationship. Keeping someone at arm's length isn't what deep friendship's about.


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