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The Secret Keeper
"An intriguing mystery, shifting between past and present." - People, 4 stars
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Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

Created: 07/09/13

Replies: 11

Posted Jul. 09, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
davinamw

Join Date: 10/15/10

Posts: 560

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Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

Laurel feels "different" from the other members of her family as she's growing up. Dorothy feels different from hers as well. Is this just a part of growing up – a common experience?


Posted Jul. 14, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
dianac

Join Date: 04/02/13

Posts: 26

RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I think it is. It is experienced during a time when you are learning about yourself and how you fit into the world. Everyone, I think, experiences the disconnect of coming of age.


Posted Jul. 15, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jknapp

Join Date: 04/11/11

Posts: 37

RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I think that it is part of the "coming of age" process. Is there ever a time when you are more insecure than when you are a teenager and at the same time so sure that the adults around you are just out of touch.I think it is what we all go through on the road to maturity.


Posted Jul. 15, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joycew

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 43

RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I think every teenager has to cross the line from being part of a family and taken care of to building your own life with other people and creating your own family. This is a major awakening, discovering that you are a unique person and different from everyone else in some ways.


Posted Jul. 15, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joyces

Join Date: 06/16/11

Posts: 248

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RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I think we all feel we are different than the rest of our family. As a young person it seems like a big deal and we dwell on it a bit but as we mature we realize that everyone is different from each other and it would be a pretty strange world if we were all like each other like a bunch of clones. But also as we get older we start seeing mannerisms and attitudes in our family members that are quite similar and rather endearing. That's pretty amazing when I think back to how the eight children in my family all usually disagreed with each other about everything when we were kids.


Posted Jul. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 121

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RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

That is a part of adolescence -- the breaking away from the family, forming your own identity.


Posted Jul. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 56

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RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

Yes, I think it is a part of growing up, but not just a part of growing up - it's a real, legitimate feeling, because every generation grows up in and experiences a different world, and therefore they are different from their parents in some ways.


Posted Jul. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
mariannes

Join Date: 12/17/12

Posts: 170

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RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I think it's common for adolescents to feel like they're different from everybody else, except maybe their closest friends. When I was teaching middle school, most of the kids went through a "my parents are so embarrassing" phase and didn't want to be around their parents at school events.


Posted Jul. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
christinep

Join Date: 07/16/13

Posts: 26

RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I agree with what most everyone is saying about how you get a feeling of being different as you go through adolescence. I also think that in the case of Dorothy and Vivien, there was more to the normal feelings of an adolescent. I feel that their parents went out of their way to make them feel even more different. That their behavior was abnormal and they needed to be controlled, especially in the case of Dorothy.


Posted Jul. 17, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 138

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RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

Christine, I totally agree with you about Dolly. It seems like her family had this mold they expected her to fit into and that there was very little room for deviation. Not so sure about Vivien, though. I seem to remember that while her father had to discipline her for beating up one of the neighborhood boys, that he was also proud of her. I'm also not sure she was old enough when her family died to feel that sense of estrangement so common with teenagers. She certainly felt alone, and she also felt guilty (thanks to that shrew of an aunt!) but I don't see that same sense of estrangement in her as in Dolly.


Posted Jul. 23, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
joanp

Join Date: 06/13/11

Posts: 48

RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I am old enough to remember when adoptions were very secret and parents didn't tell children about their beginnings. I can't think of one of my childhood friends that didn't think at one time in their life that they were not really a blood relative. That was usually when they were making life choices that the family questioned. I agree that it happens most often in early adolescence.


Posted Jul. 23, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kimk

Join Date: 10/16/10

Posts: 138

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RE: Is feeling different from your family just a part of growing up, common experience of growing up?

I distinctly remember telling my younger sister that she was adopted from gypsies who just happened to be traveling through the area.


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