Lately we have some members that come and do not read the book and put down some the of selections other members bring. How can I tell them to not come unless they can be more positive? Thank you, Susan
Join Date: 10/16/10
Join Date: 10/11/10
I don't think it should be 'you' alone who tells them but something that is discussed as a group. Presumably, you're not alone in thinking this way, in which case I suggest you talk to others in the group and get their view and agreement that a conversation needs to be had.
The importance of first finding out what others feel and secondly getting their agreement that it needs to be discussed is that you don't want to be left out on a limb being the only one bringing up the grievance. I don't know about you but I've ended up in this situation a number of times in my life - having taken on a 'cause' for colleagues in offices I've worked in for example, only to find that once I've raised the issue, no one else pipes up, or worse, says that actually they don't have a problem.
Once you've discussed and agreed with a few others that you think this needs to be discussed, raise it at the next meeting, preferably before the discussion starts. It doesn't need to be confrontational, and in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some of those who make these comments don't even realize that they're upsetting others - without being there I obviously can't know but they may think they're just having a bit of fun, but not realizing that their 'robust' remarks are hurting the feelings of others.
Going forward you might want to review your group's rules about whether it's okay to come to meetings without having read the book. Different groups have different views on this - some are very mellow about this, others either say that you can't come if you haven't read the book, or you can come but must keep quiet; and most are quite clear that if you haven't finished the book but decide to come to book club anyway, you can't ask people not to discuss the plot simply because you haven't read that bit yet!
Anyone else got any ideas?
Join Date: 05/21/11
I have found that giving all of the group equal opportunity to select the books we choose to read helps. There is no way everyone in a group of 12 -16 folks are all going to love each of the books read over the course of the year. Variety helps. As the leader of BOOKIES, I might point out that we already have three titles about WW2
when building our list of books to choose from and encourage people to broaden their own search for titles. One real benefit with a book discussion group is that it expands our world view as we begin to read the books others are interested in. And sometimes, a book we never would have picked up on our own -- becomes a favorite!
We have great attendance at our meetings but I always tell the group, if you haven't finished the book -- you will be disappointed, because we will talk about how it ends! Knowing that -- not finishing the book hasn't been much of a problem! : - )
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