Conference : Book Club Discussions : New book discussions each month. Please join us to talk about some of the best book club books http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/ I loved the book. I was hooked by the characters and wanted to know how it would end. I liked the author's writing style a lot. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1A16328B-5056-A34B-624EB008F3CC207A&r=1 2013-05-23T14:37:07-04:00 What did you think about the book? Did you like it? I did not feel compelled to take sides, but must say that I really had a negative reaction to Tia's character. In the book it seems like she views herself as a victim. I viewed her as a woman who made a series of decisions, regretted her decisions and then wallowed in that regret. Her character did make improvements at the end of the novel, but it was very difficult for me to overcome that strong negative first impression. I thought Juliette also made some wrong choices, but I did feel that she was stuck reacting to situations. So, probably my sympathy was more with Juliette. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1207EF11-5056-A34B-6222F270AD3B5E31&r=2 2013-05-23T13:57:43-04:00 As you were reading, did you feel compelled to take sides between Juliette and Tia? For most of the book I viewed it as a three star read, primarily because I really did not care for the main characters at all. I did not like either Tia or Nathan and largely felt that their actions were selfish. The ending of the book increased it to a four star read for me, as I saw the characters start to make decisions that were not as self indulgent. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1A16328B-5056-A34B-624EB008F3CC207A&r=3 2013-05-23T13:50:38-04:00 What did you think about the book? Did you like it? There was a relative in my husband's family involved in a similar situation. He fathered a child with a woman in the Philippines during World War 2. I don't know all of the details, but when the child grew up, he wrote and asked his dad to write a letter to help him get into the U.S., which he did. There wasn't much other contact between them. It was a sad situation for the boy, I think. If the man had admitted to the child sooner, maybe he could have helped him more. It was a long time ago and society was less open to out-of-wedlock children, so it would have been difficult. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=11DEBDC7-5056-A34B-623B36859BD4AAAA&r=4 2013-05-23T12:18:46-04:00 What did you think of the epigraph of the novel? In general, do you think that there are situations in which telling the truth provides more comfort to the person delivering it rather than the person hearing it? No, I don't. Tia legally gave up her rights at Savannah's birth, and for years, Savannah has been living with her adoptive family. You can't expect to a child to just give up the only parents she's known for a mom she never knew. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12D63093-5056-A34B-6264B505E54DD725&r=5 2013-05-23T12:03:37-04:00 do you think that Tia should have had any right to claim custody of Honor/Savannah? Religion didn't seem to be important in the novel except that it affected Tina's decision to not have an abortion. Religion didn't seem to have much impact on anyone's daily life. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12815848-5056-A34B-6209C94F0D437EA7&r=6 2013-05-23T12:02:58-04:00 What role did religion play in the novel? How does it affect Tia and Nathan, in particular? This book was an OK read for me, but not highly memorable. The book was compelling enough to finish it because the situations were interesting to read about although I found it difficult in the beginning to get "into" the book. Like others, I never really felt Nathan's character. He cheated on Juliette and turned his back on Tia once she was pregnant, and yet all the women in the book seem to be mesmerized by him, including Caroline. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1A16328B-5056-A34B-624EB008F3CC207A&r=7 2013-05-23T12:01:02-04:00 What did you think about the book? Did you like it? In general, I think truth is better, although there are situations where knowing about something would just hurt another person. However, a child is not usually something that can be hidden forever. A child has a right to know his real family when he grows up, and the child's grandparents and siblings have the right to know they have another relative. Of course, this could create a lot of problems if an inheritance is involved. I think it's easier to deal with the truth sooner than later. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=11DEBDC7-5056-A34B-623B36859BD4AAAA&r=8 2013-05-23T11:57:57-04:00 What did you think of the epigraph of the novel? In general, do you think that there are situations in which telling the truth provides more comfort to the person delivering it rather than the person hearing it? I gave this book four out of five stars. It kept me turning the pages and the characters and situations were interesting. Nathan was never real to me. He was such a jerk that I just couldn't see why Tia and Juliette were so crazy about him. I think his lack of character development was a flaw in the book. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1A16328B-5056-A34B-624EB008F3CC207A&r=9 2013-05-23T11:41:48-04:00 What did you think about the book? Did you like it? No, I don't think the fact that Savannah is adopted affects Caroline's feelings about being a mother. I have a biological daughter, and it took me months to adjust to being a mom, and I have realized none of what I thought I knew about motherhood beforehand could prepare me for the actuality of it. My daughter is a lot like Savannah in being demanding, serious, and stubborn. Some days I find myself feeling like an awful mom (and she is 5 years old already!). I love her to pieces and would gladly die to protect her, but I cannot keep her forefront 24/7 as I don't have endless patience! I'm a stay-at-home mom too (gave up career for motherhood). I am struggling a bit with a loss of identity since my daughter is starting kindergarten in the fall. I know I'm still a stay-at-home mom, but my daughter won't be there to take care of during the day. So many years out of my workforce (microbiology) and perhaps Mommy-brain have left me feeling I don't fit in there any more as I haven't kept up with current developments in my field. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12D02024-5056-A34B-62AAE8D730C1C52F&r=10 2013-05-23T11:26:40-04:00 Does the fact that Savannah is adopted affect how Caroline thinks about being a mother? I found myself siding with Juliette to some extent since she was the one cheated on for no satisfactory explanation. However, in her position, I don't think I would want to thrust Savannah directly into family life, a constant reminder of my husband's infidelity (if I could ever forgive that). http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1207EF11-5056-A34B-6222F270AD3B5E31&r=11 2013-05-23T11:15:12-04:00 As you were reading, did you feel compelled to take sides between Juliette and Tia? I related best to Juliette, but a bit in the opposite way. I have lived in some way with anorexia/overexercise compulsions since 1996. My way of coping is not eating and overexercising. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12BAC739-5056-A34B-6213A12983ADF81F&r=12 2013-05-23T11:10:41-04:00 The women cope with stress in different ways; which mechanism did you most relate to? bestmartin, what were some of the themes you found interesting? http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1A16328B-5056-A34B-624EB008F3CC207A&r=13 2013-05-23T09:17:06-04:00 What did you think about the book? Did you like it? This wasn't my favorite book. I had to work to finish it. I found the women unsympathetic and not very developed. There were some interesting themes brought out but it wasn't compelling enough. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=1A16328B-5056-A34B-624EB008F3CC207A&r=14 2013-05-22T23:24:59-04:00 What did you think about the book? Did you like it? I too think they are very different. Also I wouldn't call a close friendship with someone, male or female, to be emotional cheating. I think you can have clear boundaries about avoiding physical intimacy and thereby not cross any lines. In fact several close male friendships I have had have become better friends of my husband's. I certainly don't follow the pattern in the book. I just don't differentiate between male and/or female friendships. To me both are essential. One of my best male friends ( who is now a close friend of my husbands) took me out for lunch every week for the last three months of my pregnancy and helped me feel attractive and not just a pregnant blob!!! http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12B12DE1-5056-A34B-62E11DCE20E13DE3&r=15 2013-05-22T23:22:03-04:00 Is emotional cheating different to physical cheating? What about lying by omission? Not entirely. Just from my previous reading, I knew that something 'bad' was going to happen and that their affair was not going to blossom into a committed love. It was too big of a jump to go from an unhappy marriage into a perfect, loving relationship, forged in such a short length of time. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=34E64B8A-5056-A34B-621E478DE1AA77B0&r=16 2013-05-22T23:16:29-04:00 Were you surprised by the outcome of Laura and Richard?s affair? Yes, definitely. Without understanding you can make a superficial decision to forgive and forget but deep down there's no real resolution. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12C8C3D9-5056-A34B-62913BF24C25F10F&r=17 2013-05-22T23:12:46-04:00 Do you think that understanding why something happened is necessary to fully forgive what actually happened? I agree with Laurap and sharlene. I had a hard time identifying with any of the women. There was some fundamental mother's instinct missing. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12002ADB-5056-A34B-62925D9DFB2D6FEF&r=18 2013-05-22T23:10:46-04:00 Of the three female protagonists, which did you most identify with, and why? I agree with Tillieh. I do think men get off much easier when they don't show up consistently. Women often have more guilt and expectations to meet. Still I find it hard to believe that no one resented her father. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=126142E7-5056-A34B-6289CFCBF433904E&r=19 2013-05-22T23:06:07-04:00 Caroline says that no one in her family resented her father for saving his deepest energies for his work - that they didn't confuse his love and his energy. Do you think this kind of parenting can work as well for mothers? Yes. I related to Juliette. I definitely eat to manage my stress. None of the women's ways of coping helped but I could understand them. http://www.bookbrowse.com/booktalk/messages.cfm?threadid=12BAC739-5056-A34B-6213A12983ADF81F&r=20 2013-05-22T23:02:42-04:00 The women cope with stress in different ways; which mechanism did you most relate to?