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The World Without You


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Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

Created: 12/28/12

Replies: 8

Posted Dec. 28, 2012 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert

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Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

Clarissa’s infertility plays a central role in the book. Originally, Nathaniel wanted to have children and Clarissa didn't. After trying a long time Clarissa seems more upset than Nathaniel. Does this have to do with Leo’s death? Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?


Posted Jan. 04, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
cynthiaa

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 112

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

ALWAYS and NEVER. Two words you need to be very careful using. I don't think it is ALWAYS harder on women. It depends on the person. Women just seem to talk more openly about these issues than men do.


Posted Jan. 04, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
bettyt

Join Date: 05/12/11

Posts: 228

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

No, I don't think it is always harder for the woman. While the woman deals with the issue of not being able to become a mother, the man often has to deal with the problem of sex becoming something demanded of him -- it has to be done on schedule, not spontaneously. Sex is not really pleasurable when it is demanded. You could see that with Nathaniel. Perhaps Leo's death made Clarissa face the issue of mortality.


Posted Jan. 05, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
juliaa

Join Date: 12/03/11

Posts: 276

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

Not necessarily harder, but different. It's the woman who usually gets tested first looking for the cause of the infertility; the woman who blames herself at least until the cause is determined. But it's hard on the man too, if he feels a strong desire to be a father. Infertility is just plain hard on couples who want children.


Posted Jan. 05, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
susanr

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 201

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

I think its hard on both - but they handle it differently. Women talk about it and men internalize it


Posted Jan. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
Suzanne

Join Date: 04/21/11

Posts: 281

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

Its equal if both are intent on having a child. And the infertile one may feel guilt. I'm not sure that women or men react that differently.


Posted Jan. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
marjoriea

Join Date: 06/14/11

Posts: 8

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

Maybe so. It seems to me women are "conditioned" that their role is to be a mother. When a woman decides not to be come pregnant, which is different from infertility, but it seems to end up the same way - there is something "wrong" with the woman.


Posted Jan. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
lynneb

Join Date: 08/23/11

Posts: 118

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

I have no experience with either myself or family members going through this situation but looking at it through the characters in the book it seems that Clarissa was trying to develop a feeling for motherhood because it was expected of her and to please her husband.


Posted Jan. 18, 2013 Go to Top | Go to bottom | link | alert
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mary annb

Join Date: 04/14/11

Posts: 16

RE: Is infertility always harder for the woman than for the man?

I think it depends on the individual. Not to generalize, (as she begins to generalize), I would think it would be more of an issue for women. I know men have come a long way, but in the end, I think women seem to ultimately decide wether to be pregnant or not.


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