Is Amory a responsible parent? Do you agree with her when she says, "What do we know about the interior lives of our children? Only as much as they choose to reveal."
Created: 05/30/16
Replies: 5
Join Date: 10/15/10
Posts: 3442
Is Amory a responsible parent? Do you agree with her when she says, "What do we know about the interior lives of our children? Only as much as they choose to reveal."
Join Date: 02/18/15
Posts: 497
I believe that Amory was a responsible parent. She certainly wasn't prepared for parenthood after being told that she would not be able to have children. She cared for them, more so than their father. She did go off to Viet Nam which I don't think was a wise decision considering the dangers. I don't think she was fully aware of just how dangerous the war had become; but that was always one of her problems, impulsive. At the time the girls were away at boarding school, so they were hardly missing her. The problem was if something happened to her, what would become of the girls.
Join Date: 08/07/11
Posts: 54
By the time my five children were the age of Amory and Sholto's twins, they were certainly on their own and making their own decisions, wisely made or unwisely. That is how children become adults, learn, and become wise--by being on their own and making their decisions about their lives. Parents die or divorce frequently and much younger children learn to live on their own. I have learned and re-learned that we certainly do only know as much as our children choose to reveal to us, and sometimes the things we learn are devastating, completely opposite of our own views and beliefs. My children are far older than Blythe and Annie were when Amory made the statement, and they are still hiding things from me! Sometimes it is as simple as not wanting Mom to disapprove of their actions. I thought that Amory's attitude was healthy for both her and her children. She thought her own life was not yet over when she went to Vietnam and that she should do as she pleased, and she also thought her girls should lead their own lives and make their decisions.
Join Date: 02/18/15
Posts: 497
I definitely think it is true that we only know as much as our children want us to know. As they age, they are learning about themselves, making judgments about us as parents, swearing they will be different. They reveal what they want us to know, what they think we can handle. Then one day, they look in the mirror and see their parent looking back.
Join Date: 09/02/13
Posts: 43
Join Date: 08/07/11
Posts: 54
Although we really don't have enough information to pass judgement in this issue, I thought Amory was responsible, although not the best nor the most attentive parent. She seemed to be far more interested in herself and her life than in those of her daughters. That said, I think we should give our kids space and allow them to learn about life in a more real fashion. How can they become responsible without experiencing life's problems, sadnesses, and difficulties. I learn secrets about the lives of my five children every time we're together; however, I know only what they choose to tell me or show me.
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