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Quiet
An extraordinary book with the power to permanently change how we see...
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How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

Created: 02/27/13

Replies: 16

Posted Feb. 27, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
admin

Join Date: 10/11/10

Posts: 369

Expert

How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

(If you're in a relationship) How does your temperament compare to that of your partner? How do you handle areas where you’re not compatible?


Posted Mar. 04, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sallyh

Join Date: 09/07/12

Posts: 56

Expert

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

My husband is an extrovert, but although he is much more comfortable with strangers and large groups than I am, and can talk the arm off a chair, he also enjoys socializing in small groups and likes to stay at home, just us and our dogs. I now wonder whether his extroversion has been tempered by my introversion, or if he's just comfortable anywhere. He was never like Greg in the book (insisting on getting together with lots of people every week), which is certainly fortunate for me.


Posted Mar. 04, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
BamaCarol

Join Date: 04/16/12

Posts: 29

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

My husband is also an introvert. Over the years we have both realized that we do not like large groups. As a matter of fact, we recently went to a large 40-year reunion. We walked up to the party and watched people for around 5 minutes and then he said he was ready to go. Neither of us wanted to be in that kind of loud social situation - we would much rather be home with our cat and our hobbies and each other. We do like to get out with friends on occasion but it is more than likely going to be another couple or possibly 2 other couples at the most. I am glad that we both have the same kind of temperament and enjoy the same type of environment.


Posted Mar. 05, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jwbriggs13

Join Date: 05/09/12

Posts: 27

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

My husband and I have now been married forever so we have adjusted very well to each other. We like quiet evenings and weekends, and we tend to entertain small groups rather than larger groups. I don't watch much television, but he enjoys televised sports and is an avid channel-surfer (channel-surfing drives me batty). When the television comes on I grab a book or e-reader and head for the study. Peace and happiness for both of us.


Posted Mar. 05, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
pennyp

Join Date: 03/22/12

Posts: 117

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RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

While we are both a mixture, I believe we are both more introverted than extroverted. Neither of us like large crowds or groups and we both much prefer a quiet evening at home than an evening out.


Posted Mar. 05, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
terriej

Join Date: 07/28/11

Posts: 93

Expert

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

My temperment is almost exactly opposite my partner. He is definitely an introvert, but is a performer. When not performing, he prefers a night in. I enjoy going out.


Posted Mar. 06, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
pattys

Join Date: 09/17/11

Posts: 5

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

We are both bookworms and homebodies. Works GREAT!


Posted Mar. 06, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
sherrillb

Join Date: 02/16/12

Posts: 7

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

im an introvert he is an extrovert, he has to go talk to his buddies every day for awhile. im happy to stay home and read in the winter. in the summer imi turn into an extrovert and he becomes an introvert


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
kiml

Join Date: 05/19/11

Posts: 12

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

When I first met my husband back in college he seemed like an extrovert to me. He always had this need to be with other people and had trouble being alone and entertaining himself. After 23 years of marriage he seems like he is much more introverted like me. We now enjoy being with just one another or in small group settings. Maybe he was always an introvert, but felt like he had to socialize to fit in when younger.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
bonnieclyde

Join Date: 03/07/13

Posts: 16

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

very close to he same, we both would rather have quiet times and don't feel the need to be around others. However, group settings such as a concert or movie bother him but crowds don't bother me if there is something I want to do.


Posted Mar. 07, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
jeannew

Join Date: 04/23/11

Posts: 26

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

We are both introverts but he is more outgoing than I am and enjoys a big party where I do not. We struggled with this for years before realizing what the problem was. I like getting together with small groups of people but not large groups where I don't know anybody. Recently, for example, he had a reunion of former Air Force buddies who used to work at the same place; exactly the kind of situation I always felt forced to attend. Now I'll stay home and he'll go and we're both happy.


Posted Mar. 10, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
erical

Join Date: 04/17/11

Posts: 8

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

We are both introverts so it works out well- I will make the effort to socialize with other people more but once in the situation he is more comfortable with small talk interaction. We would both rather stay in or go out with just one other couple.


Posted Mar. 10, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
pennyn's Gravatar
pennyn

Join Date: 10/21/10

Posts: 23

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

My former partner and I were opposites. Nothing could make him believe I needed time alone...lots of it. Also reading books was a necessity. Sadly my mother harassed me even when I was young about reading too much and not going out side to "play". Finally, after I started school I could walk the 5 blocks to the library (it was next to the school) where I spent most of my summers reading and being by myself. (Even tho we had a TV) After I had read all the kids books in the library an understanding teacher actually signed a permission slip that I could take out any book in the library. Sadly the marriage ended I have since been living under my beautiful "rock" and only coming out as needed. Until I read QUIET I had no idea why I am like I am.


Penny
Posted Mar. 11, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
lisag

Join Date: 01/12/12

Posts: 298

Expert

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

My husband is less introverted than I am but he's still somewhat an introvert. He's able to put himself "out there" partly because he's a manager now, working himself up to being more and more extroverted. He also made friends with very extroverted people way back when he first started working. I think that had a large impact on him. I think we're fairly compatible in this sense, especially since I took a job that required me to be more social and have learned a bit about pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I'd still rather be home, though, either with a book, watching a movie, etc. In some ways I believe we balance each other out, though, like pennyn, my husband doesn't completely understand my need for LOTS of solitude.


Posted Mar. 12, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
aprild

Join Date: 01/18/13

Posts: 2

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

I am not in a relationship, but as soon as I read the chapter on this topic, I immediately called my mom and told her she had to jump ahead in the book and read it! (I liked the book so much after the first 3 chapters, I made my mom go out and get a copy - she couldn't wait for me to finish.)

My parents are complete opposites. My mom is an introvert and my dad, an extrovert. He really doesn't understand where my mom and I are coming from a lot of the time. My dad is a social animal and loves to entertain and have friends/family over for dinner. My mom dreads planning and worries constantly about how things will turn out. She also would rather stay home, than go out.


Posted Mar. 15, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
domesticathlete

Join Date: 01/23/13

Posts: 2

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

I'm smiling as I read these comments, noting the posts are overwhelmingly from introverts. As a respondent group, what else would we expect from a group of devoted READERS? I've been married to an *extrovert* for 43 years. Our son is more introverted than I am, while our two daughters are probably ambiverts. We have many different currents in our family river. Usually, we ebb and flow pretty smoothly with one another, but sometimes the water gets choppy. As a consequence of reading this book, I have a few new tools when our family dynamic gets rough.


Posted Mar. 19, 2013 Go to Top | Bottom | link | alert
ellenf

Join Date: 03/04/13

Posts: 4

RE: How does your temperament compare to that of your partner?

We're both introverted with my husband not to the degree that I am. We both like to socialize in small groups but agree that sometimes it's nice just to curl up with a good book. I've been dumped for "reading too much".


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