At what point do you "become" something? Is it the day you start, or when you look back later and realize that's what you are? How much of what we become is due to the people around us?

The author states that he never decided to become a writer, he became one by simply starting to write (p. 192). At what point do you "become" something? Is it the day you start, or when you look back later and realize that's what you are? Do you think Kanigel would have become a writer if he hadn't met Maura? How much of what we become is due to the people around us?

Wow! Heady questions. I think a piece of who you become is in you from birth but you must pay attention. Maybe not the specific "thing" but there are signs of who you will become. A successful business person who has drive or someone content to let others show them the way. He may have become a writer without Maura but she certainly helped get him there.

As defined by my parents I would have remained a secretary. I was determined to be the first college educated family member and worked my way thru college and having a family. Then I felt I needed even more education to help define what I really had become. It wasn’t until I had become a VP with certifications and a master’s degree that I felt I had finally arrived at my desired professional identity. I believe “becoming who you want to be” is an individual journey that can be limited by life circumstances beyond a person’s control. The point of this achievement can occur at any time in your life!

Growing up in the 60s there were three "acceptable" career options available for women in high school: teacher, nurse or secretary (now called Administrative Assistants) but I was told by my high school counselor I was really going to college to get my MRS degree - ugh!). I began that career path in high school never realizing where it would take me. I eventually taught, got my MRS degree (having 3 children who are successful, productive adults perhaps is my greatest achievement, though I never thought I wanted to be a mom), got a masters degree in social work (I had the misguided concept I wanted to help people) becoming a rehabilitation case manager but went on to eventually work in health insurance ending my career there in Medicare compliance at which point I realized I really wanted to go to law school. My last job was the most fulfilling, but I never saw myself ever going in that direction either. Even though I'm technically retired I have a consulting business in the Medicare compliance arena which brings me great joy - I found I love solving mind puzzles. So I don't know at what point you decide to do something, I just know that there were choices in my life that led me down different paths that eventually made me into who I am today.

This is a basic nature or nurture question in some ways. Of course the people around you affect who you become and what you do or don't do. Overall personality traits arise fairly early in life and then are shaped by the experiences of your life. I too was told I should be a secretary, nurse or teacher when I went off to college in 1981, but I told my father I wanted to be a psychologist and the rest is history.

I think the answer differs with individuals. Many of us who graduated from college took the job that was available at the time and if we stayed with it that's what we became. In my case, a child of the 1940s, there were not a lot of options. Through the years my focus changed as family needs dictated. I stayed home with my daughter for years and then later became caregiver to older family members. My work was interspersed.

I believe that you become “something” when you start identifying as that “something”. That “something” can be fluid throughout your life. Then someone enters your life that questions your limited beliefs and that “something” changes again.

Do you "make it" when you feel you have or is it the opinion of others? It is obviouslydifferent for everyone. I think that question is also hard to answer. You may feel that you have not quite made it however your colleagues, friends, family may feel you have not only made it but are thriving. Does that mean that your feelings, opinions about this don't count? Interesting dichotomy

In my experience the people we are around is a large part of who we become. I've morphed into the people around me at times through my life and didn't realize it until afterwards.

You don't become something merely by starting it. You become it when you realize it's a good fit and want to continue. Especially when it come to careers. I tried many things as a young woman. They didn't all stick and when I look back at some of them, I wouldn't have defined myself by them to others.