How much of our self-worth is dependent on our relationships with our children and/or with our parents?

Bernie observes that Brid's worth is tied to being her mother; so Bernie concludes that her own worth is dependent on being Brid's daughter. Do you think this is true in the context of the novel? How much of our self-worth is dependent on our relationships with our children and/or with our parents?

Oh gosh. Our self-worth is largely determined by our parents. It’s different to rise from an abusive household. I do also feel like my greatest accomplishment has been my happy, successful children so in that way ny self-worth has been boosted by my children

In this book everyone's self worth is affected by relationships - mostly adversely.

Agreed that most/much of our self worth is established by our parents. Unfortunately their lack of support and criticism can play a huge role in where we go and achieve. The flip side is if it's positive support it can launch us to do things we never dreamed we could do. Our children's successes or lack there of certainly can impact our self-worth.

I guess it's different in every family, but I think most of your self worth is related to your parents' relationship with you. I am certainly who I am because I knew I always had their admiration and support. However, I am aware of friends who had horrible home lives. They have brothers and sisters who failed at life because of this, yet this one child was highly motivated by the parents' neglect. Always wondered how that happens with one child, yet not the others.

Certainly our parents play a large role in the development of self worth. Brid’s constant striving to please a cold distant Aoife had a negative impact on her self worth that she carried with her into her adult life. Her self worth had a great impact on Bernie. Ultimately self worth come from within and is reflected in our relationships.

I agree that self-worth is formed much more easily in a happy, supportive family. Dedicated parents strive to instill self-worth in their children and the success of the children reinforces positive self-esteem in the parents. When it works, this is a wonderful cycle. For children coming from dysfunction families achieving self-worth is difficult, even more difficult may be knowing how to pass the self-worth onto their children.

I also agree that self worth is greatly impacted by our relationship with our parents. Teachers, coaches, extended family, a neighbor etc.can also help provide support to building self esteem. Our relationships with our children are often a reflection of our own self esteem.

Self-worth is at the heart of a person’s identity and personality. Our parents are the biggest factor in developing this when we are children, and, for many, this influence continues into adulthood.

I'm sure my parents' expectations played a huge role in forming the person I am today. The thing is, it wasn't necessarily a positive experience for me. I felt like I never could measure up to my mother's expectations. I think I became a relatively well-rounded, successful individual, but I think that success came after I abandoned trying to adhere to what my mother thought I should be doing.

I really related to Brin because I think she, too, needed to create a new life that was free from trying to meet her mother's expectations.

Of course, our self-worth is dependent on how our parents love and raise us from the beginning. I thought Brid was selfish, however, to be so dependent on her daughter. Bernie was deprived of her father, as well as having to suffer an emotionally unstable mother.

Our relationship with our parents is so important in how we view ourselves. Confidence comes from how you are treated at an early age. Coming from a well adjusted home, I feel like I have never doubted my self worth and ability to accomplish any goal. And I hope I have given my own children that same gift .