Brid learned at the diner that "friendships only happened in the spaces where men weren't." How do you feel about this statement?

Brid learned at the diner that "friendships only happened in the spaces where men weren't." How do you feel about this statement? Do your friendships reflect this sentiment?

I think the statement is true for some women or at least for the times in their lives when having a man and getting married is the goal.

I'm not sure how this actually applies to Brid since men's attention was never her primary goal. She seems to have difficulty getting close to anyone. She tries with Bernie, but never quite succeeds - her secrets and her depression prevent genuine relationship.

I definitely feel that this is a true statement. If a man is in that "space" he wants all of the attention (at least a great deal of the time). I look back at my working years and I am so thankful for the female friendships I was able to cultivate and how they nourished my psyche.

It also seemed like the author had problems with men in general.

While all the characters had issues, the women were shown much more sympathy in their dealing - or not dealing - with them than the men were.

Both Sean and Dean did the right thing in marrying their pregnant partners - although neither wanted that life any more than the women. Yet Sean (and Enda and Tad) are portrayed as "weak" and Sean and Dean are blamed by Aiofe and Brid for their unhappiness. Even Kaleb (despite his own issues) does not take sufficient care of Brid - and certainly not of Bernie (whose pregnancy and despair he does not fix.)

Avery makes Bernie feel "slimy" after the sex she seeks after her rejection by Mia. Yet Mia is not reviled in the same way as he is.

Just depends on the people and the situation. Many women can't live without a man in their lives; some are quite content. My experience is that mature women recognize this basic need in some of their friends and accept their conditional friendship as well as more committed friendships. After all, real friends accept you for who your are, right? I guess at a young age, men do tend to suck up all the air in the room if you let them.

I don’t think that statement is necessarily true. I agree with Lyris. Even Kaleb didn’t get credit in the book for all he did to try and help Brid and Bernie. I didn’t understand why he stayed. Aoife viewed her husband as weak and shared that with her daughter. That had to impact her view of men.
I cherish my relationships with my woman friends but I don’t think the presence of men diminishes our friendships.

I cherish my friendships with women. When we go together hiking or skiing we share much more than if a man is with us. In my experience, men have tendency to take over the conversation.

It seems in this novel that the only ones who extended real love and friendship - without getting much in reciprocal care and concen- were Kaleb and Tad.

Maybe I'm missing it - but just where were the wonderful female friendships?

With the exception of Bernie and Mia there weren’t really any friendships in the story. If there are the author devotes little time to them.

I find it easier to talk about personal emotions with some of my female friends and, although I enjoy men’s view on many things, I share very little of the deep personal things with male friends. It is more of a exchange of ideas on world affairs or new ideas in science, technology, etc with males. I suspect many males don’t share deep emotional feelings with anyone. I would agree with others that in this book, men are not treated very sympathetically. Yet, it is interesting that Brid’s daughter is called Bernie: yes, short for Bernadette, but often a male name short for Bernard.

I tend to agree…I’ve met very few men who I can have the same depth of conversation with as I can my girlfriends; and even some ‘casual acquaintance’ women.

I think the bonds between females are very important and are often deeper than friendships with men. Women just seem to be able to get into a more intimate relationship than most men.