Why do you suppose Brid refuses to tell Bernie anything about her past? Under the circumstances, do you feel her decision was the correct one?

Why do you suppose Brid refuses to tell Bernie anything about her past? Under the circumstances, do you feel her decision was the correct one?

I think Brid continued to fear that she would be identified and either extradited or hunted down and killed for abandoning her associates, and felt that the fewer people (including her child) who knew her history, the better. I also think she may have worried that Bernie would disapprove of her actions and no longer love her.

First, I don't agree with her decision. There might have been a few reasons. Her shame about the car she'd rove for the IRA and not wanting her to know about it. Bernie probably pushed to meet her family and Brid wasn't sure how that would go.

Her reasons are complicated: fear emanating from her role in driving a car for the IRA and her reluctance to adit to Bernie the secrets she’s been hiding from her for so many years. Although they may not seem entirely rational, they do make sense from her perspective.

She lived with so much fear, unjustified but real to her. She just wasn’t sure what would happen if anyone knew what she had done. It’s difficult to argue with that

I agree with PTK- Brid’s reasons were complicated. Her fear of being caught. Her guilt over causing the death of a pregnant woman. Her confusion, pain and guilt over the manner of her sisters dealth.

Fear of being discovered, fear of how she would see herself if she said it out loud, and she certainly didn't come from a family who taught her to trust and rely on other family members to hold you up. So, the dysfunction continued. I do think she was wrong. I think if she could have put down her guard and be truthful with her daughter, saying it out loud, she might have been able to see herself in a different light and forgiven herself.

I agree with the comments posted above. Brid’s decision was motivated by fear and guilt and that’s understandable, especially because she aided the Cause. I was frustrated by Brid’s inability to open up to Bernie about her past. She perpetuated the secrecy that plays such a large role in dysfunction and it almost cost her her relationship with her daughter.

Elizabetta said it perfectly. I was highly irritated that Brid didn't share her past because of the damage I felt it was doing to Bernie not to mention the psychological damage it did to her (Brid).

Funny--this was a thought I had throughout the book. I think Brid was wrong; she should have told Bernie about her past and her family. Perhaps she was trying to protect her daughter? I think the fact that she was in this country under an assumed name made her paranoid (I certainly would have been). But I think that this ultimately hurt Bernie.

It is interesting that so many readers felt that Brid was wrong in not sharing her past with Bernie. The lack of honesty and open conversation in Brid's own home drove her out, I thought she would raise her daughter differently.

Brid’s fears control her. Her fears have caused her to feel she can protect herself and her daughter by assuming a new identity and hiding her past. However our past does not go away. Not dealing with her past added to the dysfunction between Brid and Bernie.

I was also surprised that Brid didn't share her past with Bernie. I think she was overwhelmed by her fears and didn't want to "taint" Bernie with her past.

Brid felt guilty for her sister's death and the death of the woman with her baby when the bomb exploded. That guilt created the depression and under these circumstances she was not able to tell Bernie the truth.

I think the only time it's reasonable to hide one's past is if that knowledge would do damage to the person receiving the information. In this case, I think it would have gone a long way toward helping Bernie to know her mother's past.

Brid likely feels she is protecting Bernie however I don't feel that secrets are the best way to do this. As the old adage says, the truth will set you free.

I am not sure her refusal to tell Bernie anything is very realistic. A child would normally push and push to know more. Bernie perpetuated a lack of familial communication by her silence. This decision by the author made Bernie irrelevant to the book.

Fear, habit, paranoia, guilt, and depression (PSA?); all of these emotions likely play into her decision to withhold personal information from Bernie. She grew up having to keep secrets, especially about her identity. She learned at an early age that letting someone know too much about you could cause harm and pain.

Brid felt guilty for her perceived part in the bombing, and the death of her beloved sister, and felt she needed to leave. Leaving home and Ireland behind and taking on a new identity she felt would help get away from the pressure she felt from her mother and the guilt she felt. She took on her sister’s identity and wanted to start fresh in a new place. Admitting her past would only have kept her feelings, her memories, and her guilt at the forefront, all of which she wanted to forget.

Brid was shackled by guilt and shame. Who wants to admit their mistakes to others? It was easier for Brid to make up stories than tell her daughter the truth. I don't think this is the best or right decision but I think this is why she didn't tell anyone.

They moved around so much that no one knew her or the past.

I agree with all the posts above (as summarized well by kdowney25). Sadly keeping so many secrets from Birdie only caused more pain for both Brid and Birdie and perpetuated the family's dysfunction.

I think that Brid was scared of what might happen to her if she was found out to be part of the killing in Ireland, but also, I think she was afraid of what Bernie would think about her and her involvment in the crime. I think ultimately, she was trying to protect Bernie, by not telling her about her father and Brids past, but in the end, secrets almost always cause more damage than if you come out and tell the truth. Maybe she was waiting until she thought Bernie was more mature and could handle the truth, but often times, it is the fear of losing someone that makes you keep secrets about yourself. The shame of it all had a lot to do with Brids decision to keep those secrets about herself.

Brid was suffering from guilt and from the fear of being hunted and caught for her role in the bombing. She was overly protective of Bernie, and hiding the past from her was one more form of protection.