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There are currently 30 member reviews
for The Sound of Gravel
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Lynn R. (Dixon, IL)
Fascinating but Infuriating
I have always been fascinated by the polygamist lifestyle and found this to be an interesting but infuriating. Why would a religious community let a pedophile continue to abuse children? How does a religious community condone plural marriages and the creation of large families that can't support themselves? How does a religious community justify lying to receive public assistance?
This is a well-written story of resilience. The author shows us a life that was filled with many challenges but not devoid of love and happiness at times.
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Bette K. (Beverly, WV)
Quick and Interesting
This book is obviously autobiographical to some point. The main character is a very likable girl who has to deal with a family that is heavily entrenched in polygamy. The writing is clear and concise, not concerned too much with description or flowery language.
Some things I learned: Polygamy is considered by its adherents to be a religious obligation and has very strict rules, all of which benefit male members of the community.
Girls are not encouraged to be educated and are encouraged to be subservient to males. Men frequently sexually abuse their step daughters without consequence. The poverty that exists due to the enormous number of wives and children produces families who live on welfare and pay no taxes.
The book gives much anecdotal information about what its like to grow up in a polygamist culture and how destructive it is to children and women.
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Rebecca L. (Torrington, CT)
The Sound of Gravel
This book tells the story of Ruth, a young girl growing up in a polygamist Mormon community in Mexico near the US border. Ruth and her siblings are all technically American citizens, so even though they live in Mexico, their mother (Kathy) still collects welfare and food stamps from the US. This book is about Ruth's childhood and also about her family. Ruth bares all in this book and readers should be warned, there are descriptions of multiple unfortunate deaths/funerals and also child abuse. After seeing a few episodes of that show Sister Wives on TLC I will admit I have a weird interest in hearing stories of people who have lived or grew up in the polygamist lifestyle. The idea of it is just so foreign to me that I can't understand how a marriage can be shared between more than two people, the logistics of it and how it can survive the tests of time. So when I saw this book available on BookBrowse I was immediately interested.
While growing up, Ruth and her family move around a lot over the years. At one point her mother leaves her step-father (after an incident with him buying a shower head for wife #1 with Ruth's mother's money) and they go to the US to live with Kathy's parents for awhile. They don't ever end up in one place for very long, though they are forced to live in El Paso, TX for about 2 years when DCF gets involved after the kids are left alone for almost a week (the oldest child at that time was 12 and the youngest was 1 or 2 if I remember correctly). I thought Ruth did just such a fantastic job describing the different locations where she spent time growing up. The imagery seems so real in the book that the reader feels like they are standing right beside Ruth seeing it with her. The events and timeline in this book are well-laid out and very detailed. I felt like I really got to hear about Ruth's story and all the details of her childhood growing up.
Overall I really liked this book, it was moving and heart-breaking and a beautiful story about a woman's traumatic childhood but also about how she overcame that childhood to become the person she is today. At 19 she was taking care of all of her younger siblings, trying to support them while also getting her GED and then going to college. Honestly as heart-breaking as her childhood was, I thought this book was inspirational. To think that someone can live through so much heartbreak and still come out not only surviving but thriving, really it is a feat to be admired. Also at this time of year especially when we are giving thanks for the things in our lives we are most grateful for, this book is a great reminder that I should be grateful for the childhood I had and for the two loving, caring parents that God gave me. I think the story was well written and poignant, and I have so much respect for Ruth not only for what she went through but also for having the courage to share her story with the world.
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Rebecca G. (Havertown, PA)
A Disturbing Memoir
The Sound of Gravel is a difficult book to read. It reads as fiction yet it's disturbing to realize that this was someone's life. It's disturbing to learn that there are men who use "religion" and power to marry and suppress several women, sire dozens of children, force them all into extreme poverty to say nothing of the rampant sexual abuse of their daughters at young ages. These men are not only polygamists, they are predators. Ms. Wariner is wonderfully brave not only for escaping that horrible life and raising her sisters but for having the courage to write her story. This book will be a great book club book because it will incite many lively and emotional discussions
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Jean Beaver
The Sound of Gravel
What if you were your Mother's fourth child and your father's thirty-ninth? I was fascinated to read a memoir written by a woman who had been a very perceptive child in a polygamous family. The author has tremendous recall about the feelings and thoughts of the child she had been. This memoir is the story of male dominance and tragic religious zeal.
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Marci G. (Sicklerville, NJ)
Astounding Ending !
This is an uncomfortable book in terms of the affect the parents choices have on the children. In a community where a woman's purpose is to populate the earth, the lack of care given to the children is painful. Children taking care of children, the wives in competition with other wives. I cheered for the author throughout the book. I recognize her strength in dealing with " her lot in life" but I am astounded by her choices in the end ... it left me speechless. I am still ruminating her choice .
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Cameron R. (Elkin, NC)
meh ...
Sorry but I just didn't really enjoy this book. I was excited because the publisher's senior editor said she read it in one sitting, "compulsively turning each page" so, admittedly, I had high hopes. Plus I was interested in the whole 'polygamy Mormon doomsday cult' angle ... because, really, who wouldn't be??
There's no doubt Ruth Wariner, the author, had a tragic life and kudos to her for pulling herself and her siblings out of their situation but the book just wasn't that good.
This story, although tragic, could have just as easily occurred with Muslims, agnostics, whatever as the main characters. So the whole 'polygamist Mormon doomsday cult' felt a bit contrived.
But, again, let me state that Ruth Wariner saved her and her siblings' lives and she deserves credit for that. She definitely has more of a story to tell than I do but I can't say that I recommend this book :(
Also, her stepfather was a real -- fill in your own bad word here --.
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