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A Novel
by Asia Mackay
Book Reviewed by:Two former serial killers trying to keep their past buried realize that old habits die hard in this "wildly original, razor-sharp thriller" (Chris Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of All the Colors of the Dark).
I wasn't smashing the patriarchy; I was killing it. Literally.
Hazel and Fox are an ordinary married couple with a baby. Except for one small thing: they're murderers. Well, they used to be. They had it all. An enviable London lifestyle, five-star travels, and plenty of bad men to rid from the world. Then Hazel got pregnant.
Now, they're just another mom-and-dad-and-baby. They gave up vigilante justice for life in the suburbs: arranged play dates instead of body disposals, diapers over daggers, mommy conversations instead of the sweet seduction right before a kill. Hazel finds her new life terribly dull. And the more she forces herself to play her monotonous, predictable role, the more she begins to feel that murderous itch again.
Meanwhile, Fox has really taken to being a father. Always the planner, he loves being five steps ahead of everyone and knowing exactly what's coming around the bend. Plus, if anyone can understand Hazel needing one more kill, it's Fox. But then Hazel kills someone without telling Fox. And when police show up at their door, Hazel realizes it will take everything she has to keep her family together.
Chapter One
Three months earlier
Haze
I really was very lucky. I looked around our brand-new, expansive kitchen. Bespoke wooden cabinets, marble countertop, an electric five-door AGA. A family painting of three stick figures holding hands stuck to the stainless-steel fridge doors.
I grew up in many different places, but I never had a home. I grew up with many different people, but I never had a family.
Now I finally had both.
Don't f*** it up.
I stared at the wall nearest the window as I chopped grapes at the island. Four different shades of white were painted on it. The paint codes for each option underneath. Decisions, decisions.
"Neeeeowwwwwwwww!" Fox walked into the kitchen, holding a giggling Bibi with her arms out like an airplane. He was in the suit he was wearing when we first met. It was thirteen years ago this June. The American stranger who came to my rescue in Paris. I felt a stab of something. I wasn't sure what.
"And crash landing!" Fox dropped Bibi into her highchair at the oak ...
Despite the couple's macabre extracurricular activities, readers will be hard-pressed not to empathize with vigilante serial killers Fox and Hazel as they navigate marriage, parenthood, and their murderous impulses. Their struggle to balance giving their daughter the loving life they never had with a burning need to work out their issues through the torture and killing of rapists, wife beaters, and child abusers makes for genuinely hilarious, if occasionally dark, reading... Sparkling, witty dialogue and quippy humor make the couple more Nick and Nora Charles than Manson Family.
Chris Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of All the Colors of the Dark
Sexy, stylish, thrilling, and funny ... Asia Mackay rips up the rulebook in this wildly original, razor-sharp tale of marriage and murder, mundanity and mayhem. I loved it. Clare Mackintosh, New York Times bestselling author of Hostage
Murder has never been so funny. If you liked Mr. & Mrs. Smith, you'll love this original and darkly funny thriller. John Marrs, bestselling author of What Lies Between Us
So razor sharp, it had me reaching for the plasters... . A fresh and original voice in a genre we're all fascinated with.
If you liked A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage, try these:
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Published 2024
A young Indian woman finds the false rumors that she killed her husband surprisingly useful—until other women in the village start asking for her help getting rid of their own husbands—in this razor-sharp debut.
by Deanna Raybourn
Published 2023
They've spent their lives as the deadliest assassins in a clandestine international organization, but now that they're sixty years old, four women friends can't just retire – it's kill or be killed in this action-packed thriller by New York Times bestselling and Edgar Award-nominated author Deanna Raybourn.
My Darling Boy by John Dufresne
The story of of a man whose son collapses into addiction and vanishes into the chaotic netherworld of southern Florida.
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