Book Club Discussion Questions
Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!
- Describe Nefertiti's relationship with her parents, Diane and Harold, and her grandparents, Ann and Henry. How do you think these relationships formed Nefertiti's first views of parenthood and what it means to be a parent?
- How did your own upbringing influence your take on what it means to be a parent? What are some of the lessons you've learned through your childhood experiences that influenced how you do or would parent today?
- What was Nefertiti's experience with "Black adoption," and how did it impact her choices later in life?
- Nefertiti describes how, suddenly, the stirrings of motherhood turned into an overwhelming desire to pursue becoming a parent. If you are a parent, what moved you to make that decision? Which path to parenthood did you choose?
- Put yourself in Nefertiti's shoes— if you were telling your family and friends that you've decided to adopt a Black son from the foster care system, how do you think they would react? Were you surprised by the stereotypes and prejudices Nefertiti faced both from within and outside her own community? Speak on what you imagine that experience was like for her.
- Describe the different hurdles Nefertiti had to jump to formally adopt her son, August, and later her daughter, Cherish. What are some of the challenges she faced during the foster/adoption process?
- What were some of the stereotypes and fears Nefertiti had to confront while raising August in today's racially charged America? What about with Cherish? What were some of the biases Nefertiti personally faced as a single black mother?
- As a single parent household, how did Nefertiti provide male role models and positive examples of masculinity for August, and later Cherish? How did she confront the assertion that being raised without a father figure would affect August's masculinity or "make
him soft?" What do those questions say about the way Black men are perceived in America, both from within the Black community and by society at large?
- Motherhood So White showcases many of the conversations and experiences parents of Black children face— from teaching their children about unconscious bias to explaining the traps embedded in our current cultural landscape. Speak about those conversations. Were there any that surprised you? Any that you, in your own experiences of parenthood, have or haven't had with your own children?
- Throughout Nefertiti's story, she is often confronting the idea that, in America, motherhood equals white. How does she fight against that bias? How can we erase this stereotype and expand the view of motherhood to allow everyone to have a place at the table?
Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Sourcebooks. Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.
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