Book Club Discussion Questions
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Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!
- Kanigel writes that "[I]t's more true than not that memoirs today turn their backs on the ordinary and the familiar" (p. 2). Do you believe this to be true? Why or why not? Is "memoir" a genre you read often, and if so, which memoirs have you enjoyed?
- The book covers the author's life through his early 20s, but he's recording his experiences decades later. How much do you trust his version of events? Why do you feel some people can clearly recall their early years while others can't? Which are you?
- The author quotes Petula Clark's song, "Downtown" when relating the thrill he felt when visiting downtown Baltimore, opining that "Downtown was where it was happening, baby" (p. 12). Have you ever felt this way about a city's core? Are some large cities more vibrant than others? Do you feel the association of downtown with excitement and activity has changed over time? How do you think one's age plays into one's opinion of downtown, if at all?
- The author writes that he "didn't get groups," that they baffled him, "their social force fields impossible to navigate" (p. 29). Why do you suppose he felt such isolation from his peers as a child? Could you relate to his feeling of loneliness? Do you think being an introvert or extrovert is a product of nature or nurture?
- What did you think of Kanigel's intention to go to Canada to avoid the draft (p. 84)? If you were around during the time period, do you recall what you thought of the draft at the time? Do you know anyone who was drafted, or who managed to avoid the draft? What would you have done in Kanigel's shoes?
- The author reports being influenced by the movie, Wild Strawberries. "We were one and the same," he writes of the protagonist, "his fate was mine unless I did something to alter it" (p. 105). Why do you suppose the film affected him the way it did? Do you recall ever being similarly influenced by the plot of a movie or book?
- On p. 108, Kanigel states that he believes "those born just a few years later than I, in the early and mid-1950s, often had quite a different experience" of the late 1960s. What did you think of this assessment? Do you think this holds true for all generations across the decades? Did the world "need" the 60s, as Kanigel writes?
- If you lived through the Vietnam era (roughly 1964 – 1975), what is your impression, looking back at the period? If you don't personally recollect the time, what impression have you formed reading about it or listening to others? Do you think the era was truly different in some way, and if so, how?
- The author claims to not believe in fate or karma, but that "[T]he West Virginia trip baffles me and, if I didn't know any better…I might be led to think its sole purpose was to propel me…into the arms of Maura McNair" (p. 118). What do you think led him to West Virginia? Do you believe in fate or karma?
- On p. 131 Kanigel states that "Government support for basic research left scientists free to explore whatever they wanted, regardless of how relevant, or irrelevant, it seemed." Do you think this was the case in the 1960s? And is it still the case today? Is it productive to allow scientists the freedom to research whatever interests them? How much direction should the government provide?
- Kanigel writes often about Maura's depression. How well do you think he understood the condition at the time? Do you think he'd have reacted differently if he'd been older? If their relationship had taken place today, do you think he would have been more understanding?
- The author says that there were activities he never experienced, like dancing, because they were simply unimportant to his parents. He feels they taught him that "Some parts of life had weight and worth, others you could ignore" (p. 144). Do you think his parents did him a disservice? What was important or unimportant to your parents, and how did this influence you?
- Maura writes in a letter to Kanigel that "To take this life seriously is stupid…It would mean that you really believed that there was a purpose to it and rules to be played by" (p. 149). What do you think of this statement? Do you agree with her?
- Kanigel spends some time in Paris but fails to enjoy the experience, largely blaming the language barrier. Why did he end up isolating himself to such a great extent? What would you have done in his place?
- Maura speaks at length about many subjects. "But during such rants, I sometimes felt as if I'd disappeared," Kanigel writes (p. 187), and he wonders if she even noticed he wasn't paying attention. What did you think of his growing resentment? Were you surprised the couple lasted as long as they did? What kept them together, in your opinion? Are you surprised that they still stay in touch?
- The author states that he never decided to become a writer, he became one by simply starting to write (p. 192). At what point do you "become" something? Is it the day you start, or when you look back later and realize that's what you are? Do you think Kanigel would have become a writer if he hadn't met Maura? How much of what we become is due to the people around us?
- Kanigel frequently sees himself as standing on the sidelines, particularly as he was growing up (watching his peers play together, being asked to play basketball, etc.). Why didn't he join in? What do you think would have happened if he had? Are there times when you've stayed on the sidelines but wish you'd acted? Are there times you've acted in spite of being afraid to do so?
Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of Bancroft Press. Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.