Book Club Discussion Questions and Guide for Slow Dance by Rainbow Rowell

Book Club Discussion Questions

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Please be aware that this discussion guide will contain spoilers!

1. The novel starts with Shiloh and Cary slow dancing at a friend's wedding, but the book's title, Slow Dance, goes deeper than just one dance. How did you interpret the title as the story unfolded?
2. Do you think Shiloh and Cary's relationship would have lasted if they dated in high school? How would it have been the same or different?
3. In what ways do the financial realities of Shiloh's and Cary's lives play a role in their relationship?
4. Shiloh and Cary understand each other better than anyone else does. However, this often leads to each assuming the other knows how they feel, when it isn't always the case. How did you react to this? Did it frustrate you? Did it feel relatable?
5. Dating after divorce, especially with kids, is obviously complicated. What did you notice about how Shiloh and Cary navigated that situation?
6. Shiloh and her ex-husband agreed to split time with their kids fifty-fifty. During the divorce, Shiloh fought for a greater share of time but thought "the kids were better off having a dad who would fight for them." What did you make of this situation and Shiloh's assessment, especially considering how Ryan treated Shiloh during their relationship?
7. Cary grew up witnessing his mother make poor dating choices and being unable to rely on other family members. How does this affect the trajectory of his life? How did you feel about Cary's mother in the end?
8. Did Shiloh and Cary's relationship remind you of anyone from your past or any other paths not taken?
9. How did you interpret the difference between Shiloh's perception of herself in high school and others' perception of her?
10. Being around Cary as an adult made Shiloh feel reconnected to her teenage self—what are the pieces of your teenage self that you'd like to reconnect with now?
11. What did you think of the relationship between Shiloh and her mother? What about between Shiloh and her children?
12. Shiloh says of her kids: "Somebody should tell you beforehand that it's more like being mind-captured than falling in love—they take over your whole head, and that's that. You don't ever want anything as much as you want to make them happy." What were some of the similarities—and differences—in the ways Shiloh loves different people: Cary, her children, her mother, herself?
13. There is a recurring conversational theme between Shiloh and Cary in the novel: that the brain makes note of novelty and forgets sameness. In the end, Shiloh promises that she'll obliterate his memory, creating so many good days that they all blur together. What does this make you feel about the role of memories and nostalgia in your life?

Unless otherwise stated, this discussion guide is reprinted with the permission of William Morrow. Any page references refer to a USA edition of the book, usually the trade paperback version, and may vary in other editions.