Henry observes that "As youngsters, we do it all the time, making new friends ... But when you get older, it feels as though there is so much more on the line." Do you agree with him?

Henry initially finds asking Martha to "hang out" with him to be "nerve-wracking." "As youngsters, we do it all the time, making new friends," he thinks. "But when you get older, it feels as though there is so much more on the line." Do you agree with him? Do you feel we make friends differently than we did when we were younger? If so, in what ways?

I absolutely agree; as I have gotten older, it seems that many people are content with the friends and relationships that they have. It is hard to know how to start and maintain a new relationship.

I do agree. It’s much harder to make friends when you are older. Once your kids are out of school and you are retired it’s very hard to make lasting friendships.

I think there's more on the line with new, older friends because we grow with a myriad of perspectives and opinions that need to mesh. When you're kids, you just want to have fun. As an adult, you may have commonality with members of a book group, but what if your political or climate views are opposed? These are examples of pivotal issues today that may not be compatible unless you can concentrate on the issues that do mesh because if not, the friendship is vulnerable. You toe the line to keep the peace. Or not.

Wow, this is definitely true. I think part of it is that when you get older, you're more content with your own company and the company of those you've known a long time, plus your routines are established. When you're a child, you end up with a different set of kids in your classes each school year, and I also think many parents encourage kids to try different things (sports, music, clubs, etc.). I therefore think it's natural when you're young to run into new people with whom you have things in common.

The friendship bar is raised to a much higher level in adulthood. If sharing crayons was as important to adults as it is to children, we'd be friends with everyone. With maturity comes discernment, if we are going about it correctly.

Agree. As one grows older, our friendships Are established and fill our time.

Earlier responders have covered most of what I would have said. I need to be more brave and more willing to expose myself as I meet new people at age 72. I often hesitate to take the first step but find that once I do, others are eager to talk. Don't judge, listen well, be willing to share and accept what comes your way.

It is certainly easier to make friends when we are younger, because life allows it. Those years are filled with school, sports, extra curriculars. Those are the times when everyone and anyone can be a friend.

As we age, we weed out those who aren't aligned with our core values, interests, etc. In my experience, as we age, our circle of friends becomes smaller but more meaningful.

However, as a hospice volunteer, I've read lots of research on "regrets that dying people have" and one of the top regrets is not keeping in touch with friends/socializing more often.

After learning that, I am so much more aware of my relationships and time spent with loved ones. And I'm never afraid to make a new friend!

Oh yes, I definitely agree. When you’re younger you are carefree. You makes lots of acquaintances, but you tend to weed out people and keep friends that like the things you like. Years ago it was easier as adults to make friends than it is today. Our volatile world makes us think twice about who we let into our circle. Not everyone is caustic, but we all tread lightly because it is harder to “see into the layers” of people today.

I fully agree with Henry's statement. I'm not prone to quoting biblical passages, but this is one that addresses the point - "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." — 1 Corinthians 13:11, King James Version. As adults, we have likely become influenced by society, our cumulative experiences, and focus more on how we
may be perceived, or offend, or just become more cautious. As children we just saw what was in front of us, not tainted, and reacted as such.

Speaking from experience, yes it is much harder to make friends as an adult. I have been burned too many times from people I assumed were my friends, which has resulted in me being more guarded in my willingness to open up to strangers.

Having moved to 2 new cities in the last 5 years, this 63 year old sure wished it was like the good old days. "Will you be my friend?" "OK" And off to the playground we would go. Now, I feel I have to stick my toe in the water to determine if the relationship requires work to make it work. I do not need drama and negativity at this stage. However, I do continue to sing "make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold"