Excerpt from Diana In Search of Herself by Sally Bedell Smith, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

In fact, nothing of the sort happened. A family member familiar with the Spencer archives recalled, "I have never seen a single clipping. I can't see any reason why it would have been in the papers. They weren't high-profile people." Indeed, while the Spencers' divorce and custody disputes were known to a small circle of aristocrats, the proceedings were conducted in private and only attracted discreet notices in The Daily Telegraph and the Evening Standard.

The reporters who covered Diana thought nothing of changing the story to suit the needs of the moment. Writing about Diana's problems at the end of 1982, royal reporter James Whitaker had noted Charles's solicitude, but reprising the episode for his book on the troubled Wales marriage eleven years later, he said he had actually concluded early on, "It was clear to me he did not love her at all." This assertion was even more puzzling in light of Whitaker's January 1982 report in the Daily Star that declared, "Prince Charles has finally fallen hopelessly in love with his wife--more deeply than even he believed he could."

A more egregious example is the way Diana's chroniclers appropriated the phrase "three of us in this marriage," which Diana introduced in her 1995 Panorama interview. Martin Bashir began a line of inquiry with "Around 1986 ... according to the biography written by Jonathan Dimbleby ... he says that your husband renewed his relationship with Mrs. Camilla Parker Bowles. Were you aware of that?" Diana replied: "Yes, I was, but I wasn't in a position to do anything about it." She further observed that she knew Charles had gone back to Camilla "by the change of behavioral pattern in my husband." In that context--from 1986 onward--Diana noted, "there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded."

Not only did many journalists ignore the fact that, including James Hewitt, there were actually four in the marriage at that point, they consistently used Diana's remark to demonstrate that Charles continued his physical relationship with Camilla throughout his marriage. Thus, in the book The Day Diana Died, the author Christopher Andersen stated flatly, "From the beginning, Diana said, 'there were three of us in this marriage.'"

Because of Diana's worldwide celebrity, every character trait, gesture, action, and utterance was amplified. "She lived in an extreme state," said her friend Cosima Somerset. "There was no normal middle ground." Diana's potent public image drove expectations for her behavior impossibly high. Diana was clearly delighted when flattering articles bolstered her fragile sense of herself, yet the incessant scrutiny and bursts of invective drove her to despair. As early as 1983, she took to calling tabloid reporters the "wolf pack," and in the last few years of her life, according to a man close to her, when she felt despondent over her press coverage she would drive to a cliff called Beachy Head on the southern coast of England and contemplate suicide, only to be drawn back by thoughts of her two sons.

Instead of building a shield, as Charles did by declining to read what was said and written about him, Diana got pulled into a process she found fascinating and terrifying. As perception and reality became more confused, Diana's insecurities grew. From the beginning, Diana devoured everything written about her, and she viewed herself through the prism of the press. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle took over: The act of being watched warped her self-image and behavior. She herself once said, "I didn't like myself. I was ashamed because I couldn't cope with the pressures ... I felt compelled to perform."

In his eulogy, her brother Charles offered one perplexing observation against considerable evidence to the contrary. "She remained intact, true to herself," he said. In some respects--certain signature traits such as her mischievous wit and her easy rapport--this was accurate. Habits drummed into her by an upper-class background persisted throughout her life: fulfilling her public engagements, for example, or writing instantaneous thank-you notes. As her friend Rosa Monckton observed, "Whenever things got too much for her she would say to herself, 'Diana, remember you're a Spencer' . . . and she would then get on with whatever she had to do."

Copyright © 1999 Sally Bedell Smith .