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Another person might have given up. I started again. This time I
didn't write about real things and I didn't write about
imaginary things.
I wrote about the only thing I knew. The pages piled up. Even
after the
only person whose opinion I cared about left on a boat for
America, I
continued to fill pages with her name.
After she left, everything fell apart. No Jew was safe. There
were
rumors of unfathomable things, and because we couldn't fathom
them we
failed to believe them, until we had no choice and it was too
late. I was
working in Minsk, but I lost my job and went home to Slonim. The
Germans
pushed east. They got closer and closer. The morning we heard
their tanks approaching, my mother told me to hide in the woods.
I
wanted to take my youngest brother, he was only thirteen, but
she said
she would take him herself. Why did I listen? Because it was
easier? I ran
out to the woods. I lay still on the ground. Dogs barked in the
distance.
Hours went by. And then the shots. So many shots. For some
reason, they
didn't scream. Or maybe I couldn't hear their screams.
Afterwards, only
silence. My body was numb, I remember I tasted blood in my
mouth. I
don't know how much time passed. Days. I never went back. When I
got
up again, I'd shed the only part of me that had ever thought I'd
find
words for even the smallest bit of life.
From The History of Love by Nicole Krauss. Copyright Nicole Krauss 2005. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of the WW.Norton. No part of this book maybe reproduced without written permission from the publisher.
When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
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