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Gone were the young, nervy-eyed white soldiers with their machine guns;
instead the terminal seemed overrun with black taxi drivers asking her if she
needed a ride. No, no thank you, she said, her eyes sweeping across their faces.
In the past she'd have handled them with a certain confidence, an ongoing rapid
discernment -- trust this one, have nothing to do with that character -- her
white skin at least giving her the illusion of security. Now she felt uncertain
of herself.
She stepped outside into the shock of the sunlight. Buses with spewing
exhaust pipes and ads for Sun City painted on their sides trundling past, row
upon row of cars in the vast parking lot -- it would have been so cosmopolitan
if it hadn't been for that light, wild and fierce, as if gleaned from the eyes
of animals that kill. She took a minibus shuttle to the Holiday Inn, listening
to the earthy lilt of the driver's voice, the white family sitting opposite her
with their flattened accents that turned each word into a roughly carved piece
of wood.
After a plate of prawns peri-peri and a long shower, Eva made her way to the
bar. Two large fiberglass tusks flanked the entrance; inside, a group of Indian
businessmen crowded the red Naugahyde banquets. She perched on a stool at the
bar and ordered a glass of pinotage. In the mirror opposite her, she studied the
reflections of the two blond South African women seated to her right. Long
manicured nails, chunky gold jewelry, and cell phones resting on the bar. She
glanced at her own reflection. She'd worn lip gloss and it hadn't helped; her
mouth appeared to be more down-turned than usual, her eyes vacant. She was
twenty-eight years old, but with her short haircut -- it had been so chic in New
York -- and the emotional tumult of returning etched across her face, she looked
odd, like a middle-aged teenager. She reached quickly for her glass of wine.
The blondes departed, and Eva ordered another glass from the bartender, who
wore a Nehru jacket cut from kente cloth.
"An American who knows that pinotage is South Africa's finest wine." He set
the glass in front of her. "So, what part of the States are you from?"
"I live in New York."
"Ah, the Big Apple."
She laughed. He made it sound like a piece of fruit. The bartender wrinkled
his brow as if he didn't understand her amusement, and emboldened by the velvety
pinotage, she said, "Yup. Maar ek's gebore in Humansdorp en het op 'n plaas -- "
The words tumbling out of her mouth like clods of earth flustered her; she
hadn't spoken Afrikaans out loud in ten years, and she knocked her wineglass
over.
"No problem." He wiped the bar clean. "Welcome home, Mrs....or could it be
Miss?"
"Miss, Eva -- " Her eyes fluttered away from his in embarrassment. She must
have sounded like a holdover from the old South Africa; Miss Eva was the way the
Africans who worked on Skinner's Drift had addressed her. "I mean, it's just
plain Eva."
"Welcome home, not so plain Eva."
Again she avoided his eyes. Surely he wasn't flirting with her. "Van
Rensburg," she added.
"Oh, that's a nice boere surname." He refilled her glass and slid it toward
her. "A few years ago I would have been scared of someone with a name like
that."
"Cheers!" She raised the glass to her lips, unsure of how she should respond.
A smile curled ever so slowly across his face until his cheekbones jutted out
like rock ledges.
"Eva, is everything okay?" He leaned toward her, close enough for her to read
the name tag pinned to his jacket.
"Great, Rapulana."
"No, no, you make it sound too American. Listen. Rah..." His mouth opened
wide as a lion's. "Puu..." His lips pursed as if he were kissing her. "Lana!" He
swallowed and sighed.
Copyright © 2006 by Lisa Fugard. reproduced by permission of the publisher, Scribner.
Dictators ride to and fro on tigers from which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.
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