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"Sit still, Maisie," says Lucas. "Stop wriggling about." And he
frowns.
Beside me, the Reverend Mother smiles. Isabella will be twenty-three
in a few weeks: She has glass green eyes and a precious rosary made of
jade. Her responsibilities are many, but she always has time for me.
Touching my arm, raising a finger to her lips, she glances at Lucas and
then steals silently away. Lucas the unbeliever sees nothing. Outside
the windows, the sun shines. It hasn't rained in weeks. This is a golden
summer, the best summer I've ever known. By the end of it I shall be
translated, I feel certain. I'll cease to be a girl and become a woman.
I shall emerge from my chrysalis, my wings damp but lustrous, Maisie
transformed!
Lucas waits an interval and then says: "Okayit's high summer.
There's a full moon. You go down to the village, and Ocean's daughter
tells the cards. And what did the old witch promise the three sisters, I
wonder? A sweetheart? A legacy? A voyage? I bet it was a sweetheart. A
tall, dark stranger. Like me."
"None of those things."
"An unusual fortune-teller," he says in his dry way. His manner
becomes businesslike, but I know I have his attention. It gives me a
small, secret thrill. He angles the sketchbook so there is no
possibility of my seeing it and says: "Now, Maisie, you can talk, but
don't move your head from that angle. The light's perfect. Turn your
face slightly to the left. Undo that top button. . . . Excellent. Clever
girl. I'm all ears. Now, go on."
I think, All ears and all eyes, too. Lucas has as many eyes as Argus,
and if one of them should briefly close, the other ninety-nine remain
alert and watchful. When dealing with Lucas, it's advisable to remember
this, so I do.
I try to relax into my pose. I try to concentrate and summon up the
past. It's cool here in Lucas's improvised studio, and it is calm. This
large room has a stone floor and a vaulted ceiling. It was built by
Isabella in the thirteenth century and extended early in the fifteenth,
when the Abbey was at the height of its renown. It was once the
refectory, linked by passageways to the cloister and the main body of
the convent, but those links disappeared at the time of the Reformation,
so this part of the building is now islanded. It's quiet and secluded. I
can just hear the sound of Julia's gramophone in the distanceshe's
playing that Jefferson Airplane record againbut that's only because she
turns it up full volume. Apart from that alien thump and moan, the only
sounds are England: the hum of bees, the rustle of elms, the bleating of
this year's lambs. They're almost fattened: off to the abattoir any day
now.
The refectory's six tall, arched windows face away from the house,
toward the fields, the orchards, and the valley below. In the past,
Stella used to closet herself away in this room. She needed to find
herself, she said, and this beautiful and tranquil space was just the
place to do it. Yes, it was cold in winter, but for someone brought up
in Canada, English winters held no fears. They were brief, it rarely
snowedno problem! Then Stella rediscovered English damp, East Anglian
damp, which is all-pervasive, which creeps into your bones. Then she
discovered just what happens here when the wind swings round to the
east, when it howls in from Siberia and sweeps toward the Fens.
Copyright © 2005 by Sally Beauman
The longest journey of any person is the journey inward
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