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I think they must be important, because Lucas says he plans to
complete four drawings of me this year. I'm sure that's an honor. It
must mean that something about me interests him. The first drawing,
Spring Maisie, was finished in the Easter vacation. Summer Maisie
is the one he's working on now; Autumn Maisie and Winter
Maisie will follow in due course. I'm not allowed to see them until
all four seasons are finished. I'm not allowed to inspect The Sisters
Mortland portrait, eitherand neither is Julia or Finn. I've tried
several times to sneak a look, but I've always been thwarted. When he's
out, Lucas locks the windows and the door. He bought a new padlock for
the purpose. "How paranoid can you get?" Julia says. Julia's just
returned from a year's postgraduate study at Berkeley, California. It's
affected her clothes and vocabulary. "Paranoid" is now a favorite word.
"Come on, Maisie, you're daydreaming," Lucas prompts. "Talk to
me. Your face is getting set and fixed. This won't work if you look
sulky. It's all wrong."
"I don't sulk," I reply. But I've heard the warning note of
irritation, so I concentrate again. I'm beginning to wish I'd selected a
different event to describe, but there's no getting out of it now. That
round, cold pebble is still stuck in my throat. I frown, Lucas waits,
the pencil hovers, andobedient to him as alwaysI walk back into the
past.
I watch the three of us set off, that afternoon, for the village. We
take the path through the woods, something we rarely do. Julia is
wearing a new white dress; it has paper nylon Bardot petticoats that
make the skirt stiff and bell shaped. It has broderie anglaise
around the neck. She's turned into a woman overnight, and she's so
blazingly beautiful that it hurts my eyes. My sister Finn is wearing old
clothes as usual: ancient slacks, a crumpled blouse, and sandals. She's
slender and straight as a willow wand. I can tell what Julia's
thinkingshe's usually thinking about herself, so it isn't too hardbut
with Finn, I can't. She's intricate, like a knot I can't undo.
My sisters stride ahead, arguing. I bring up the rear. I'm wearing
brown linen shorts, chestnut brown Clarks sandals, and a white Aertex
shirt that Finn's long outgrown. I've been reading the "Famous Five"
books in secret (they're top of Stella's list of forbidden literature)
and, like the immortal George of Kirrin Island, I want to be a boy. I
whistle to the dog only I can seewe were between dogs that summer, just
as we are now. I put my hands in my pockets and scuff my shoes. I count
the trees and name them as I pass. I think I am happy; happiness is
catching. After a while, Finn and Julia stop arguing, and Finnwho has a
very sweet voicebegins to sing, first a madrigal, then, jiving about
and laughing, Elvis's "Blue Suede Shoes."
We come out of the wood, and the heat of the sun hits us. The valley
below us is burning gold. The hedgerows are thick with elderberries;
thirty elms march in a long line down the lane. The apples in the
orchards are ripening; the wheat ripples. God has arranged forty-one
cows in perfect formation in Acre Field. There are larks overhead, so
high that I can't see them, but I can hear them, piping alarm, filling
the sky with nervous song. I breathe in the air of England; it's buoyant
in the lungs and lifts my heart. Finn takes my hand; even Julia is
elated. We start dancing, running, and jumping down the hill.
Copyright © 2005 by Sally Beauman
He who opens a door, closes a prison
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