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"The snow," she murmured, looking down.
But by midmorning the storm had begun to abate, and the distant
sounds of plows grated through the still air. He watched from
the
upstairs window as the nurse knocked snow from her powder-blue
car and drove off into the soft white world. The baby was
hidden,
asleep in a box lined with blankets, on the seat beside her. The
doctor
watched her turn left onto the street and disappear. Then he
went back and sat with his family.
His wife slept, her gold hair splayed across the pillow. Now and
then the doctor dozed. Awake, he gazed into the empty parking
lot,
watching smoke rise from the chimneys across the street,
preparing
the words he would say. That it was no one's fault, that their
daughter
would be in good hands, with others like herself, with ceaseless
care. That it would be best this way for them all.
In the late morning, when the snow had stopped for good, his
son cried out in hunger, and his wife woke up.
"Where's the baby?" she said, rising up on her elbows, pushing
her hair from her face. He was holding their son, warm and
light,
and he sat down beside her, settling the baby in her arms.
"Hello, my sweet," he said. "Look at our beautiful son. You were
very brave."
She kissed the baby's forehead, then undid her robe and put him
to her breast. His son latched on at once, and his wife looked
up and
smiled. He took her free hand, remembering how hard she had
held onto him, imprinting the bones of her fingers on his flesh.
He
remembered how much he had wanted to protect her.
"Is everything all right?" she asked. "Darling? What is it?"
"We had twins," he told her slowly, thinking of the shocks of
dark hair, the slippery bodies moving in his hands. Tears rose
in his
eyes. "One of each."
"Oh," she said. "A little girl too? Phoebe
and Paul. But
where is
she?"
Her fingers were so slight, he thought, like the bones of a
little
bird.
"My darling," he began. His voice broke, and the words he had
rehearsed so carefully were gone. He closed his eyes, and when
he
could speak again more words came, unplanned.
"Oh, my love," he said. "I am so sorry. Our little daughter died
as
she was born."
(c) 2005, Kim Edwards. Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Penguin Group.
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