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So now she was alone in the house, and it seemed very quiet to
her. She had made a cup of bush tea and had drunk that
thoughtfully, gazing out over the rim of her cup onto the garden
to the front of the house. The sausage fruit tree, the moporoto,
to which she had never paid much attention, had taken it upon
itself to produce abundant fruit this year, and four heavy
sausage-shaped pods had appeared at the end of a branch, bending
that limb of the tree under their weight. She would have to do
something about that, she thought. People knew that it was
dangerous to sit under such trees, as the heavy fruit could
crack open a skull if it chose to fall when a person was below.
That had happened to a friend of her father's many years ago,
and the blow that he had received had cracked his skull and
damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to speak. She
remembered him when she was a child, struggling to make himself
understood, and her father had explained that he had sat under a
sausage tree and had gone to sleep, and this was the result.
She made a mental note to warn the children and to get Mr J.L.B.
Matekoni to knock the fruit down with a pole before anybody was
hurt. And then she turned back to her cup of tea and to her
perusal of the copy of The Daily News, which she had unfolded on
her lap. She had read the first four pages of the paper, and had
gone through the small advertisements with her usual care. There
was much to be learned from the small advertisements, with their
offers of irrigation pipes for farmers, used vans, jobs of
various sorts, plots of land with house construction permission,
and bargain furniture. Not only could one keep up to date with
what things cost, but there was also a great deal of social
detail to be garnered from this source. That day, for instance,
there was a statement by a Mr Herbert Motimedi that he would not
be responsible for any debts incurred by Mrs Boipelo Motimedi,
which effectively informed the public that Herbert and Boipelo
were no longer on close terms-which did not surprise Mma
Ramotswe, as it happened, because she had always felt that that
particular marriage was not a good idea, in view of the fact
that Boipelo Motimedi had gone through three husbands before she
found Herbert, and two of these previous husbands had been
declared bankrupt. She smiled at that and skimmed over the
remaining advertisements before turning the page and getting to
the column that interested her more than anything else in the
newspaper.
Some months earlier, the newspaper had announced to its readers
that it would be starting a new feature. "If you have any
problems," the paper said, "then you should write to our new
exclusive columnist, Aunty Emang, who will give you advice on
what to do. Not only is Aunty Emang a BA from the University of
Botswana, but she also has the wisdom of one who has lived
fifty-eight years and knows all about life." This advance notice
brought in a flood of letters, and the paper had expanded the
amount of space available for Aunty Emang's sound advice. Soon
she had become so popular that she was viewed as something of a
national institution and was even named in Parliament when an
opposition member brought the house down with the suggestion
that the policy proposed by some hapless minister would never
have been approved of by Aunty Emang.
Mma Ramotswe had chuckled over that, as she now chuckled over
the plight of a young student who had written a passionate love
letter to a girl and had delivered it, by mistake, to her
sister. "I am not sure what to do," he had written to Aunty
Emang. "I think that the sister is very pleased with what I
wrote to her as she is smiling at me all the time. Her sister,
the girl I really like, does not know that I like her and maybe
her own sister has told her about the letter which she has
received from me. So she thinks now that I am in love with her
sister, and does not know that I am in love with her. How can I
get out of this difficult situation?" And Aunty Emang, with her
typical robustness, had written: "Dear Anxious in Molepolole:
The simple answer to your question is that you cannot get out of
this. If you tell one of the girls that she has received a
letter intended for her sister, then she will become very sad.
Her sister (the one you really wanted to write to in the first
place) will then think that you have been unkind to her sister
and made her upset. She will not like you for this. The answer
is that you must give up seeing both of these girls and you
should spend your time working harder on your examinations. When
you have a good job and are earning some money, then you can
find another girl to fall in love with. But make sure that you
address any letter to that girl very carefully."
Excerpted from Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith Copyright © 2006 by Alexander McCall Smith. Excerpted by permission of Pantheon, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
It was one of the worst speeches I ever heard ... when a simple apology was all that was required.
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