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I think Mme Du-Somethingorothers a fool too, but at least shes does a
better job of playing social worker to the local needy. She really makes out she
cares about our lives. Sometimes, youd almost believe her. She fires questions
at me in this high-pitched voice. The other day, she wanted to know what Id
been reading recently. I just shrugged. But really, Ive just finished this
thing called The Sand Child by Tahar Ben Jelloun. Its all about a little girl
who was raised as a boy, because she was the eighth daughter in the family and
her father wanted a son. Back in the time when the book is set, there wasnt any
ultrasound or contraception. It was strictly no refunds, no exchanges.
What a shitty destiny. Fate is all trial and misery because theres you cant
do anything about it. Basically, whatever, no matter what you do youll always
get screwed over. My mom says my dad walked out on us because it was written
that way. Back home, we call it mektoub. Its like a film script and were the
actors. Trouble is, our scriptwriters got no talent. And hes never heard of
happily ever after.
My mom always dreamed France was like in those black-and-white films from the
60s. The ones where the handsome actors always telling his woman so many lies,
always with a cigarette dangling from his lips. When she lived in Morocco, my
mom and her cousin Bouchra found a way to pick up French channels with this
aerial they rigged up from a stainless steel couscous-maker. So when she and my
dad turned up just north of Paris, in Livry-Gargan, February 1984, she thought
they must have caught the wrong boat, got the wrong country. She told me the
first thing she did when she walked into this tiny 2-room flat was throw up. Im
not sure if it was seasickness or a sixth sense warning her about life in this
place .
The last time we went back to Morocco, I was kind of dazed. Im remember
these old women with tattoos, coming over and sitting next to Mom at the
weddings and baptisms and circumcision ceremonies.
--You know, Yasmina, that girl of yours is growing into a woman, its time
you thought about finding her a boy from a good family. How about Rachid? That
young man whos a welder
Stupid old bags. I know exactly who that is. Everyone calls him Mule-head
Rachid. Even the six-year-olds make fun of him to his face. Not to mention hes
missing four teeth, he cant read at all, he s cross-eyed, and he stinks of
piss. Over there, its enough that you have even the smallest little bumps for
breasts, you know to shut up when youre told to, you know how to bake decent
bread, and then bam youre all set for marriage. Anyway now I dont think were
ever going back to Morocco. We cant afford it for one thing, and my mom says it
would be too humiliating. People would point at her and shake their heads. She
thinks what happened is all her fault. Id say there are two guilty parties in
this story: my dad and fate.
We worry about the future but whats the point? For all I know we might not
even have one. A person could die in ten days, or tomorrow or suddenly, right
over there, right now. Its the kind of thing that doesnt exactly let you know
when its coming. Theres no advance notice, no final warning. Not like when
your electricity bills overdue. Thats how it was with M Rodriguez, my neighbor
from the twelfth floor, the one who actually fought in the war. He died not long
ago. Sure, OK, he was old, but still, no one expected it.
Sometimes I think about death. Ive even had dreams about it. One night, I
was at my own funeral. Hardly anyone there. Just my mom, Mme Burlaud, Carla the
Portuguese lady who cleans the elevators in our tower, Leonardo DiCaprio from
Titanic, and my friend Sarah who moved to the suburb Trappes south of Paris,
when I was twelve. My dad wasnt there. He had to look after his peasant woman,
carrying his Momo-to-be, while I was, well, dead. Its disgusting. I bet you his
sons going to be thick, even more stupid than Rachid the welder. I hope hell
limp and have problems with his eyesight, and when he hits puberty hell suffer
from the worst possible acne. He wont be able to get a hold of any Clearasil
for his zits in their crappy, middle-of-nowhere village. Except maybe on the
black market, if he knows how to work the system. Whichever way you look at it,
hell turn out a loser for sure. In this family, stupidity is passed down from
father to son. When hes sixteen, hell sell potatoes and turnips at the market.
And on his way back home, on his black mule, hell tell himself: I am one
glamorous guy.
Excerpted from Kiffe Kiffe Tomorrow, by Faïza Guène. (c) 2006. Reproduced wither permission of the Publisher, Harcourt Books. All rights reserved.
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