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As Zeliha passed by dozens of rough-looking fishermen silently standing side by
side along the old Galata Bridge, each holding an umbrella in one hand and a
spinning rod in the other, she envied them for their capacity for stillness,
this ability to wait for hours for fish that did not exist, or if they did,
turned out to be so tiny that in the end they could only be used as bait for
another fish that would never get caught. How amazing was this ability to
achieve plenty by achieving little, to go home empty-handed yet still satisfied
at the end of the day! In this world, serenity generated luck and luck generated
felicity, or so suspected Zeliha. Suspect was all she could do on this
particular matter, for she had never before tasted that kind of serenity, and
she didnt think she ever could. At least not today. Definitely not today.
Despite her hurry, as she wound her way through the Grand Bazaar, Zeliha slowed
down. She had no time for shopping but would go inside for just a quick glance,
she assured herself, as she surveyed the storefronts. She lit a cigarette and as
the smoke curled from her mouth, she felt better, almost relaxed. A woman who
smoked on the streets was not highly regarded in Istanbul, but who cared? Zeliha
shrugged. Hadnt she already waged a war against the entire society? With that
she moved toward the older section of the bazaar.
There were vendors here who knew her on a first-name basis, especially the
jewelers. Zeliha had a soft spot for glittery accessories of all sorts. Crystal
hairpins, rhinestone brooches, lustrous earrings, pearly boutonnieres,
zebra-stripe scarves, satin satchels, chiffon shawls, silk pom-poms, and shoes,
always with high heels. Never a day had she passed by this bazaar without
ducking into at least several stores, bargaining with the vendors, and ending up
paying far less than the amount proposed for things she had not planned to
purchase in the first place. But today she drifted by a few stalls and peeped
into some windows. That was it.
Zeliha lingered in front of a stand full of jars and pots and flasks full of
herbs and spices of every color and kind. She remembered one of her three
sisters asking her this morning to get some cinnamon, though she couldnt
remember which one had asked. She was the youngest of four girls who could not
agree on anything but retained an identical conviction of always being right,
and feeling each had nothing to learn from the others but lots to teach. It felt
as bad as missing the lottery by a single number: Whichever way you might try to
consider the situation, you could not rid yourself of feeling subjected to an
injustice that was beyond correction. All the same, Zeliha purchased some
cinnamon, not the crushed powder, but sticks. The vendor offered her tea and a
cigarette and a chat, and she rejected none. While she sat there talking, her
eyes nonchalantly scanned the shelves, until they locked onto a glass tea set.
That too was among the list of the things she could not resist buying: tea
glasses with gilded stars and thin, delicate spoons and brittle saucers with
gilded belts around their bellies. There already must be at least thirty
different glass tea sets at home, all bought by her. But there was no harm in
buying another set, for they broke so easily. So damn fragile . . . muttered
Zeliha under her breath. She was the only one among all the Kazancı females
capable of getting infuriated at tea glasses when they broke. Meanwhile,
seventy-seven--year-old Petite-Ma, for her part, had developed a completely
different approach.
There goes another evil eye! Petite-Ma exclaimed each time a tea glass
fractured and fell apart. Did you hear that ominous sound? Crack! Oh it echoed
in my heart! That was somebodys evil eye, so jealous and malicious. May Allah
protect us all!
Excerpted from The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak, © 2007 by Elif Shafak. Excerpted by permission of Viking Press, a division of Penguin Group. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
It was one of the worst speeches I ever heard ... when a simple apology was all that was required.
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