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This was easier for Anne; the doctor had thrown her a rope and
was slowly tugging her to the shore of the present. As she spoke, Falchuk
focused on the details of her diet. Now, tell me again what happens after
each meal, he said.
Anne thought she had already explained this, that it all was
detailed in her records. Surely her internist had told Dr. Falchuk about the
diet she had been following. But she went on to say, I try to get down as
much cereal in the morning as possible, and then bread and pasta at lunch
and dinner. Cramps and diarrhea followed nearly every meal, Anne
explained. She was taking anti-nausea medication that had greatly reduced
the frequency of her vomiting but did not help the diarrhea. Each day, I
calculate how many calories Im keeping in, just like the nutritionist taught
me to do. And its close to three thousand.
Dr. Falchuk paused. Anne Dodge saw his eyes drift away from
hers. Then his focus returned, and he brought her into the examining room
across the hall. The physical exam was unlike any shed had before. She
had been expecting him to concentrate on her abdomen, to poke and prod
her liver and spleen, to have her take deep breaths, and to look for any areas
of tenderness. Instead, he looked carefully at her skin and then at her palms.
Falchuk intently inspected the creases in her hands, as though he were a
fortuneteller reading her lifelines and future. Anne felt a bit perplexed but
didnt ask him why he was doing this. Nor did she question why he spent
such a long while looking in her mouth with a flashlight, inspecting not only
her tongue and palate but her gums and the glistening tissue behind her lips
as well. He also spent a long time examining her nails, on both her hands
and her feet. Sometimes you can find clues in the skin or the lining of the
mouth that point you to a diagnosis, Falchuk explained at last.
He also seemed to fix on the little loose stool that remained in her
rectum. She told him she had had an early breakfast, and diarrhea before the
car ride to Boston.
When the physical exam was over, he asked her to dress and
return to his office. She felt tired. The energy she had mustered for the trip
was waning. She steeled herself for yet another somber lecture on how she
had to eat more, given her deteriorating condition.
Im not at all sure this is irritable bowel syndrome, Dr. Falchuk
said, or that your weight loss is only due to bulimia and anorexia nervosa.
She wasnt sure she had heard him correctly. Falchuk seemed to
recognize her confusion. There may be something else going on that
explains why you cant restore your weight. I could be wrong, of course, but
we need to be sure, given how frail you are and how much you are suffering.
Anne felt even more confused and fought off the urge to cry. Now
was not the time to break down. She needed to concentrate on what the
doctor was saying. He proposed more blood tests, which were simple
enough, but then suggested a procedure called an endoscopy. She listened
carefully as Falchuk described how he would pass a fiberoptic instrument,
essentially a flexible telescope, down her esophagus and then into her
stomach and small intestine. If he saw something abnormal, he would take a
biopsy. She was exhausted from endless evaluations. Shed been through so
much, so many tests, so many procedures: the x-rays, the bone density
assessment, the painful bone marrow biopsy for her low blood counts, and
multiple spinal taps when she had meningitis. Despite his assurances that
she would be sedated, she doubted whether the endoscopy was worth the
trouble and discomfort. She recalled her internists reluctance to refer her to
a gastroenterologist, and wondered whether the procedure was pointless, done
for the sake of doing it, or, even worse, to make money.
Copyright © 2007 by Jerome Groopman. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Company.
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