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A Novel
by Lauren Groff
When I told my mother in my sophomore year that I wanted to
focus
my furious ambitions in archaeology, she looked bitterly
disappointed for a
moment. "Oh, Willie," she'd said then. "There is nothing left in
this world for you to discover, honey. Why look backward when you can look
forward?" I talked for hours then, of the intensity of wonder
when you blew away the dust and found an ancient skull in your hand, when you
held the flint knives and saw the chisel marks made by long-dead hands. Like so many people who have long ago burnt through all of their own
passion, my
mother recognized mine, and longed for it. Archaeology would
take me into
the great world, into deserts and tundras, as far away from
Templeton as I believed she had always wanted me to be. By now, her ego and a
good
portion of what inheritance she had left were invested in this
dream: me as
intrepid explorer of bone and potsherds, tunneling into the
vastness of
prehistory. Now, in the lightening dawn, she looked at me. A
motorboat was speeding across the lake at top throttle, and its whine rose even
to us, set two acres back on glowing, overgrown lawn.
"Oh, Willie," said my mother now. "Are you in trouble," and it
was a statement, not a question.
"Vi?" I said. "I messed up big-time."
"Of course," she said. "Why else would you find yourself in Templeton? You can hardly stand to come back once a year for
Christmas."
"Goddamn it, Vi," I said, and I sat down in one of the kitchen
chairs and rested my head on the table.
My mother looked at me and then sighed. "Willie," she said. "I'm sorry. I'm so tired. Tell me now what happened so I can get some
sleep, and we'll deal with it later."
I looked at her, then had to look down at the table. I traced
designs in
the waxy residue of its surface. And then I told her one version
of the story, vastly abridged.
"Well, Vi," I said. "It looks like I'm pregnant. And it's maybe
Dr. Primus Dwyer's."
My mother held her fingers over her mouth. "Oh, heaven help us,"
she said.
"I'm sorry," I said. "But, Vi, there's more." I said it in one
exhale, in a great whoosh. I told her that I also tried to run over his wife
with a bush plane, and she was the dean of students, and it was probable
that charges of
attempted manslaughter would prevent me from returning to
Stanford again.
I held my breath and waited for the knuckled sting of the back
of her hand.
Despite Vi's hippie mores, it was not uncommon in my childhood
for us to get to this point in our battles, panting and narrow-eyed,
stalemated across
the table. And once or twice, for my greatest sins, she did send
her hand
across to settle it all with a smack.
But she didn't hit me now, and it was so silent I could hear the
two hundred-year-old grandfather clock in the dining room as the pendulum clicked, clicked, clicked. When I looked up, Vi was shaking her
head. "I can't believe it," she said, pushing her tea farther from her with one
finger.
"I raised you to be exceptional, and here you are, a fuckup.
Like your stupid fuckup mother." Her face wobbled and grew red.
I tried to touch her arm, but she snatched it away, as if mere
contact
with me could burn her. "I'm going to take a few pills," she
said, standing.
"I'm going to sleep for as long as I can sleep. And when I wake
up, we're dealing with this." She moved heavily to the door. With her back
still toward me, she paused. "And oh, Willie, your hair. You had such beautiful
hair," she said and moved away. I could hear her footsteps on every creaking
floorboard in the old house, up the grand front stairway, far away over the hall
and into the master bedroom.
Excerpted from The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff. Copyright (c) 2008 Lauren Groff. All rights reserved. Published by Voice, an imprint of Hyperion.
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