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A Novel
by Aravind Adiga
"Who's this?" The shopkeeper squinted at me.
He was sitting under a huge portrait of Mahatma Gandhi, and I knew already that I was going to be in big trouble.
"My brother," Kishan said. "He's come to join me."
Then Kishan dragged the oven out from the tea shop and told me to sit down. I sat down next to him. He brought a gunnysack; inside was a huge pile of coals. He took out a coal, smashed it on a brick, and then poured the black chunks into the oven.
"Harder," he said, when I hit the coal against the brick. "Harder, harder."
Finally I got it right -- I broke the coal against the brick. He got up and said, "Now break every last coal in this bag like that."
A little later, two boys came around from school to watch me. Then two more boys came; then two more. I heard giggling.
"What is the creature that comes along only once in a generation?" one boy asked loudly.
"The coal breaker," another replied.
And then all of them began to laugh.
"Ignore them," Kishan said. "They'll go away on their own."
He looked at me.
"You're angry with me for taking you out of school, aren't you?"
I said nothing.
"You hate the idea of having to break coals, don't you?"
I said nothing.
He took the largest piece of coal in his hand and squeezed it. "Imagine that each coal is my skull: they will get much easier to break."
He'd been taken out of school too. That happened after my cousin-sister Meera's wedding. That had been a big affair too.
-- -- --
Working in a tea shop. Smashing coals. Wiping tables. Bad news for me, you say?
To break the law of his land -- to turn bad news into good news -- is the entrepreneur's prerogative.
Tomorrow, Mr. Jiabao, starting again at midnight I'll tell you how I gave myself a better education at the tea shop than I could have got at any school. Right now, though, it's time for me to stop staring at this chandelier and get to work. It is almost three in the morning. This is when Bangalore comes to life. The American workday is coming to an end, and mine is beginning in earnest. I have to be alert as all the call-center girls and boys are leaving their offices for their homes. This is when I must be near the phone.
I don't keep a cell phone, for obvious reasons -- they corrode a man's brains, shrink his balls, and dry up his semen, as all of us know -- so I have to stay in the office. In case there is a crisis.
I am the man people call when they have a crisis!
Let's see quickly if there's anything else...
...any person having any information or clue about this missing man may kindly inform at CBI Web site (http://cbi.nic.in) e-mail ID (diccbi@cbi.nic.in), Fax No. 011-23011334, T No. 011-23014046 (Direct) 011-23015229 and 23015218 Extn. 210 and to the undersigned at the following address or telephone number or numbers given below.
DP 3687/05
SHO -- Dhaula Kuan, New Delhi
Tel: 28653200, 27641000
Set into the text of the notice, a photograph: blurred, blackened, and smudged by the antique printing press of some police office, and barely recognizable even when it was on the wall of the train station, but now, transferred onto the computer screen, reduced to pixels, just an abstract idea of a man's face: a small creature with large, popped-out eyes and a stubby mustache. He could be half the men in India.
Mr. Premier, I leave you for tonight with a comment on the shortcomings of police work in India. Now, a busload of men in khaki -- it was a sensational case, after all -- must have gone to Laxmangarh when investigating my disappearance. They would have questioned the shopkeepers, bullied the rickshaw puller, and woken up the schoolteacher. Did he steal as a child? Did he sleep with whores? They would have smashed up a grocery shop or two, and forced out "confessions" from one or two people.
Copyright © 2008 by Aravind Adiga
Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.
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