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Ani held the badge in one hand, rubbing it clean with his other cuff.
Then he raised the eight-pointed star to a place above his heart and
addressed her solemnly, "Could you please sew this on for me, please?"
The white metal glowed. "What is it?"
"The badge of the Reichsluftschutzbund," said Hans, hovering
behind. "Herr Geiss has asked us to be members."
"I see," said Liesl. They were all in the kitchen, Jürgen awake and
fiddling with a cup, Hans and Ani dusty and triumphant and hungry.
The blood had returned to their faces. They no longer looked like statues
but poorly tended children, their hair shaggy and clothes mended past
politeness. Hans climbed into the chair at the head of the table and
picked at his nose.
"Hans," she said.
He withdrew his hand and rubbed it on his leg.
"Are you sure he meant to give you that?" she said. "It looks official."
"It is official." Hans hunched over his plate and picked up his knife
and fork. "What's for dinner?"
Liesl showed him her saucepan. Hans scowled but said nothing. Ani
continued to grin, adjusting the placement of the star. "Herr Geiss says
we need to paint our beams with limes so they don't burn," he said.
"Limes!" exclaimed Liesl.
"He means quicklime," said Hans.
Ani adjusted the star again and gave a quick, one-armed salute. "And
our neighbors', too."
Liesl winced. "The two of you are" She could just imagine Frank's
face if he saw a military badge on his six-year-old's chest. "Your father
will say you are too young for this."
"I'm almost old enough to join the Jungvolk. That makes me old enough
for duty," said Hans. The word "duty" sounded dark and cold coming
from his young throat. He met her eyes. "But I want Ani to have it."
As their gazes locked, Liesl felt an understanding flash between
them: The unhappiness they both shared should not be spread to Ani,
radiant Ani, fingering his eight-pointed star and imagining that green
limes could be found in a winter so barren that all Liesl could drum
up for dinner that night was boiled potatoes, applesauce, and a quarter
of wurst for each of them. Ani could eat sawdust and sleep on nails
as long as his faith in one thing was not brokenthat his father would
come home. He had a skinny body and a handsome head, and his grin
split his face like a knife did a melon, pure and true. In school other
boys teased him for his innocence, for his big questions"Why are our
ears shaped like bathtubs?" he asked her one dayand Hans defended
him. Hans wrote his father careful, stern letters, and he always reported
about Ani's safety, his contentment, in an overly mature tone, as if Ani
were an inside joke they shared. Anselm is learning his letters, he wrote. You
can guess that he has his own way of holding the pen.
She began to serve out the potatoes, their buttery aroma filling the
kitchen. "You can carry the star in your pocket for now," she said.
"It's not the same," Ani protested.
"I know," said Liesl. She had drunk the coffee cold, in one gulp, after
coming back upstairs, and tasted none of it.
It took Liesl a long time to cut up the rabbit she had bought from Herr
Unter, a neighbor who raised them in hutches behind his house. The
white animal had looked plumper alive. Now it was as flat as a sock,
and the small sinews kept slipping in her hands as she tried to separate
skin and flesh. When she finished, she had only a handful of meat. She
dumped it in boiling water, adding chopped carrot, onion, barley, and a
pinch of brittle, graying rosemary.
Excerpted from Motherland by Maria Hummel. Copyright © 2014 by Maria Hummel. Excerpted by permission of Counterpoint Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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