Excerpt from All My Puny Sorrows by Miriam Toews, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

Excerpt
All My Puny Sorrows

Elf has beautiful hands, not ravaged by time or sun because she doesn't go out much. But the hospital has taken her rings. I don't know why. I guess you could choke on a ring if you decided to swallow it, or pound it against your head for several weeks non-stop until you did some damage. You could throw it into a fast river and dive for it.

How are you feeling right now? Janice is saying.

If I squint across the room at Elf I can change her eyes into dark forests and her lashes into tangled branches. Her green eyes are replicas of my father's, spooky and beautiful and unprotected from the raw bloodiness of the world.

Fine. She smiles feebly. Dick Riculous.

I'm sorry? says Janice.

She's quoting our mother, I say. She says things like that. Chuck you Farley. You know. She means ridiculous.

Elfrieda, you're not being ridiculed, okay? says Janice. Right? Yoli, are you ridiculing Elf?

No, I say, not at all.

And neither am I, says Janice. Okay?

Neither am I, says a voice unexpectedly from behind the curtain, her roommate.

Janice smiles patiently. Thanks, Melanie, she calls out.

Any time, says Melanie.

So we can safely say you are not ridiculous, Elfrieda.

Well, it's called self-ridicule, whispers Elf, but so quietly that Janice doesn't hear it.

Was it good seeing Nic and your mother? asks Janice. Elf nods obediently. And isn't it great to see Yolandi? You must miss her now that she's not in Winnipeg.

Janice turns to look at me with some kind of look, I don't know, and I feel the need to apologize. Nobody moves away from Win- nipeg, especially to Toronto, and escapes condemnation. It's like the opposite of the Welcome Wagon. It's like leaving the Crips for the Bloods. Elf rolls her eyes and touches the stitches in her head with her finger, one after the other. She's counting them. Some clanking sounds are emanating from the hallway and a man is moaning. I want you to know that you're safe here, Elfrieda, says Janice. Elf nods and looks longingly at the slab of Plexiglas next to her bed, the window.

How about if I give the two of you some time to yourselves, says Janice.

She leaves and I smile at Elf and she says come here, Swiv, and I get up and walk two steps to her bed and I sit on the edge of it and flop on top of her and she smooths my hair and sighs under the weight of my head. I go back and sit on my orange vinyl visitor chair and blow my nose and stare at her.

Yolandi, she says, I can't do it.

I know, I say. You've made that point.

I can't do the tour. There's no way I can do the tour.

I know, I say. It doesn't matter. Don't worry. None of it matters.

I really can't do the tour, she says.

You don't have to do anything, I reassure her again. Claudio will understand.

No, says Elf, he'll be upset.

Only because you're not… because you're here… He'll just want you to feel better. He knows about all this stuff. Friend first, agent second, that's what he always says, right? He's weathered your storms before, Elfie, he'll do it again.

And so will Maurice be angry, says Elf, he'll go crazy. He's been planning this for years.

Who's Maurice…?

And remember Andras, the guy you met in Stockholm… when you saw me play?

Yeah, so?

I just can't do this tour, Yolandi, says Elf. He's coming all the way from Jerusalem.

Who is?

Isaak. And a bunch of other people.

So what? I say. All those guys will understand and if they don't it doesn't matter. It's not your fault. Remember what mom used to say? "Shred the guilt." Remember?

Excerpted from All My Puny Sorrows by Miriam Toews. Copyright © 2014 by Miriam Toews. Excerpted by permission of McSweeney's Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.