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A Stephanie Plum Mystery
by Janet Evanovich
I followed the sidewalk to the porch which had been carpeted in green indoor-outdoor
carpet and rang the Kuntz doorbell. The door opened and a sweaty, muscle-bulging,
half-naked man looked out at me. "What?"
"Eddie Kuntz?"
"Yeah?"
I passed him my business card. "Stephanie Plum. I'm a bond enforcement officer,
and I'm looking for Maxine Nowicki. I was hoping you could help me."
"You bet I can help you. She took my car. Can you believe it?" He jerked his
stubbled chin toward the curb. "That's it right there. Lucky for her she didn't
scratch it up. The cops picked her up driving through town in it, and they brought the car
back to me."
I glanced back at the car. A white Chevy Blazer. Freshly washed. I almost was tempted
to steal it myself.
"You were living together?"
"Well, yeah, for awhile. About four months. And then we had this disagreement, and
next thing I know, she's gone with my car. It wasn't that I wanted her arrested ...it was
just that I wanted my car back. That was why I called the police. I wanted my car."
"Do you have any idea where she might be now?"
"No. I tried to get in touch with her to sort of patch things up, but I couldn't
find her. She quit her job at the diner and nobody's seen her. I stopped around her
apartment a couple times, and there was never anybody home. I tried calling her mother. I
called a couple of her girl friends. No one seems to know anything. I guess they could
have been lying to me, but I don't think so." He winked at me. "Women don't lie
to me, you know what I mean?" "No," I said. "I don't know what you
mean."
"Well, I don't like to brag, but I have a way with women."
"Uh huh." Must be the pungent aroma they find so attractive. Or maybe the
overdeveloped, steroid pumped muscles that made him look like he needed a bra. Or maybe it
was the way he couldn't conduct a conversation without scratching his balls.
"So what can I do for you?" Kuntz asked.
Half an hour later I left with a list of Maxine's friends and relatives. I knew where
Maxine banked, bought her booze, shopped for groceries, dry-cleaned her clothes and had
her hair done. Kuntz promised to call me if he heard from Maxine, and I'd promised to
reciprocate in kind if I turned up anything interesting. Of course, I'd had my fingers
crossed when I'd made the promise. I suspected Eddie Kuntz's way with women was to make
them run screaming in the opposite direction.
He stood on the porch and watched me angle into my car.
"Cute," he called. "I like when a chick drives a sporty little
car."
I sent him a smile that felt a lot like a grimace and peeled away from the curb. I'd
gotten the CRX in February, sucked in by a shiny new paint job and an odometer that read
12,000 miles. Cherry condition, the owner had said. Hardly ever driven. And that was
partly true. It was hardly ever driven with the odometer cable connected. Not that it
mattered. The price had been right, and I looked good in the driver's seat. I'd recently
developed a dime sized lesion on my exhaust pipe, but if I played Metallica loud enough I
could hardly hear the muffler noise. I might have thought twice about buying the car if
I'd known Eddie Kuntz thought it was cute.
My first stop was the Silver Dollar Diner. Maxine had worked there for seven years and
had listed no other source of income. The Silver Dollar was open twenty-four hours. It
served good food in generous portions and was always packed with overweight people and
penny pinching seniors. The families of fatties cleaned their plates, and the seniors took
leftovers home in doggy bags ...butter pats, baskets of rolls, packets of sugar,
half-eaten pieces of deep fried haddock, coleslaw, fruit cup, grease-logged french fries.
A senior could eat for three days off one meal at the Silver Dollar.
Copyright © 1998 by Evanovich, Inc. Reprinted with the permission of St. Martin's Press, Inc.
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