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"You came to visit," she said.
"I don't know, Mom."
She looked away and I could hear her breathing. "Lala, you are breaking my heart," she said. She didn't look at me. "I'll meet you outside." She walked up the stairs and I stayed and watched the cliff. The boys prayed and dove forward and backward and did flips and double flips. Right after they jumped they were still in front of the sun for a split second, and then they rushed into the water. At the beginning I had been worried about them, but now it seemed less real, like they were on automatic or something, or like I was watching them from very far away. From very far away I watched them jump off the cliff one or two at a time, and finally three at a time.
My mom was waiting outside the entrance for me. We walked back down to the Zócalo without talking. When we got there she said, "I guess you have to get on that bus, huh? If you want to get to the city before dark."
"You could come to Grandpa's," I said.
"You know I can't," she said.
"I don't really understand why not."
"That's okay," she said.
We walked to the bus stop and when she saw the bus coming she hugged me.
"Bye baby," she said.
"Bye Mama," I said.
"Maybe I'll come to the States."
"Okay." I hugged her again. "I love you," I said.
"I love you too," she said and kissed me.
I took the bus to the bus terminal and then waited for the bus to Mexico City. I was really tired. When the bus came I sat in my seat and closed my eyes. I imagined my mom on the beach, kneeling on rich people's towels, telling them that the "See you tonight" underwear was her daughter's favorite.
Excerpted from Barbara the Slut and Other People by Richard Holmes. Copyright © 2015 by Richard Holmes. Excerpted by permission of Riverhead Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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