Excerpt from Quicksand by Steve Toltz, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

"Just tell me your idea."

"You know how we are such optimists even our Armageddons aren't final?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's postapocalypse this, post-zombie-apocalypse that. People are honestly fretting about what to do after the end-times."

"Right. So?"

"So you know the slight embarrassment you feel for someone who says they never think about death?"

"Yeah."

"You know how it's weird that people will trust any old block of ice in their drinks?"

"Yeah."

"You know how people are worried their kid's going to turn to them and say, 'What did you do to the biosphere, Daddy?'?"

I laugh. "True."

"You know how people used to want to be rock stars, but now they just want rock stars to play at their birthday parties?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know how we now think pornography is free speech?"

"Like, I don't agree with tentacle sex but I'll die for your right to produce it?"

"Right. And we always knew people hated their freedom, but now we know they're also contemptuous of privacy?"

"Sure."

"And you know how there's no replacement cycle too short for today's consumer?"

"Of course."

"And how now we have the internet you can't say, 'You ain't seen nothing yet' anymore since everyone's seen everything by the age of twelve?"

"Yep."

"And people are spooked that good and evil no longer struggle but just work different shifts?"

"Uh—maybe."

His eyes tour the room and return to me, renewed. "You know how the phrase 'At least you have your health' now refers to the state of your organs as commodities you can sell in a pinch?"

"Nobody thinks it means that."

"And how in our lifetimes we'll see the actual end of patience?"

His eyes probe my face for signs of impact.

"OK. Yep."

The ideas bloom and flare, bloom and flare. His fingers drumroll on the bar and end in a finger snap. "You know how people divide the world into white privilege and black oppression, and never mention Asians or Indians who're like, half the planet?"

"Uh-huh."

"You know how a surprisingly huge number of people like fake leather?"

"Yes."

"And how people actually believe the obstacle to happiness is that they don't love themselves enough?"

"Sure."

"And how when someone's coping mechanism fails, they just keep using it anyway?"

"Yeah."

"And how businesssapiens are always having power nightmares?"

"They're having what?"

"Bad dreams during power naps."

"If you say so."

Now he looks like a dog who has chewed through his leash and is waiting to pounce.

"You know how people still believe that happy couples don't have affairs?"

"Uh-huh."

"And modern relationships are more like, 'I'll be alone with your thoughts if you'll be alone with mine'?"

"Sure."

"You know how while we're enjoying reading dystopian fiction, for half our population this society is dystopia?"

"Aldo."

"Wait. You know how our fear of turning into our parents has become the fear of inheriting copies of their genetic mutations?"

"Aldo."

"Hold on. You know how nobody who complains about income inequality thinks they personally have too much money?"

"Aldo."

"Just wait. You know how when people talk of First World problems they forget to mention Alzheimer's and dementia?"

"Can you—"

"Wait!" A mouthful of beer spills onto his shirt. "You know how we're still stuck with this prehistoric flight-or-fight mechanism and now our bodies pointlessly secrete cortisol when we're just running for the bus?"

"And?"

"And how thanks to online comment boards, more people than ever before know what it feels like to be reviled?"

Excerpted from Quicksand by Steve Toltz. Copyright © 2015 by Steve Toltz. Excerpted by permission of Simon & Schuster. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.