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Now, Late Bloomers said, shit got real. Maybe not in those exact words, but the book and common sense agreed that it was time to make the guest room over into a nursery, buy some onesies and a Diaper Genie, and hey, maybe mention I was pregnant to my family and friends. I didn't. I was carrying a viable, whole, human boy, but he still seemed so intangible. He was like a drawing after I had the idea but before my pencil moved along the paper.
I didn't even tell my grandmother, my only living relative on my father's side. She was seven hundred miles away, down in Birchville, Alabama, busy making sure her pansy bed was immaculate and disapproving of young people and her own racist neighbor. She would have been the perfect test case, both because she'd never rat me out to Mom and Keith and Rachel and because she loved me so damn much.
I reminded her of my dad, who had been short and dark-haired and built on the thick side, just like me. And just like me he had been a haunter of used-book stores, an eater of Easy Cheese, a roller of many-sided dice. In my favorite picture, the one I kept in my purse, he was wearing Spock ears. The dork was strong in him. He had picked baby names when I was just a bump inside my mother, but he never got to see if I was a Leia or a Solo. He was killed by a drunk driver three weeks before I was born, Birchie's crowning sorrow in a hard life full of lesser ones.
She deserved to know she'd soon have a great-grandbaby, but even though I called her at least twice a week, I didn't bring it up. Childbirththe kind with a child at the end of itseemed improbable and distant. Telling Birchie especially felt like promising something I could not deliver. I didn't believe in itin Digbyuntil that first Friday in June, 3:02 a.m., when I was riding out insomnia and failing to come up with even one idea for the prequel to Violence in Violet.
Maybe because I'd written V in V so long ago? I'd begun sketching Violence two decades earlier, when I was a senior in high schoolpractically a fetus myself. Those drawings got me into Savannah College of Art and Design, and the completed graphic novel had been my senior project for my B.F.A. in sequential art.
I'd taken the finished graphic novel to a small con in Memphis, where I showed it to a guy who hired artists for DC. He liked my shading, and he offered me a contract. I'd put V in V in a box and gone to work, parlaying that first job into a freelance career. I was good, and I got better, and I never missed a deadline. Over the years I'd worked for every major publisher in the business, penciling and inking characters from Ant-Man all the way to General Zod.
About six years ago, while updating my website, I'd scanned and uploaded the opening pages of V in V. It was mostly a whiman easy way to pad my content. The first month it got a couple hundred downloads. The next a couple thousand. By the summer's end, I had more than twenty thousand shares and linkbacks, and the traffic was crashing my server. My social media blew up with requests for the whole story.
I self-published it, making a print-on- demand paper edition and an e-book, and I sold more than a hundred thousand copies in the first year alone. V in V was still selling, and now, instead of sitting on panels, I was paid to be a featured speaker at comic-book and fanstasy/sci-fi conventions all over the country. When I penciled for other series, my name on the cover boosted sales, and Dark Horse had made a truly motivating offer for this prequel. The only problem was, I had zero ideas.
I thumped my pillow, restless, trying to focus inward on my sharp-toothed antiheroine. How had Violence learned to fly, to bite, to wield her clever, crooked knives? When I started the graphic novel, twenty years ago, I'd concentrated on Violet, the heartbroken girl that Violence comes to protect. Violet was based on me in a lot of ways, so I knew her character down to the bone. Violence had been only a means to an end. To a lot of very bloody ends, actually, and I'd never thought past that. It was an absence in the book, and now I had to fill it. I sank deep into the dark inside my body, waiting to see a story begin, waiting for colors and shapes to come and show me. I was almost dozing, but not quite, and I turned onto my side.
Excerpted from The Almost Sisters by Joshilyn Jackson. Copyright © 2017 by Joshilyn Jackson. Excerpted by permission of William Morrow. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
To be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child
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