Excerpt from Delayed Rays of a Star by Amanda Lee Koe, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

It was something the boy who sat behind her in class had said.

His father was an anthropological craniometrist.

People in China walk upside down, the boy explained matter- offactly, that's why your brains are less developed. Having long learned to hold her tongue with him, she said nothing. Why don't you give up already? the craniometrist's son had asked her before, when she'd challenged him in an argument. It doesn't matter if you're right or wrong, he said with a meaningful smile beyond his years. You're never going to win at anything. Right before Anna May asked just what he meant, he pulled slit eyes at her, and she understood perfectly. Dressing for this party, she'd teeter- tottered between wanting to look her glamorous best and fearing she would stand out too much. At the last moment, she'd eschewed ornamentation for the simple black dress with sheer paneling at the shoulders, and pearls worn long. Going with black was a stroke of luck, there would have been nowhere to hide her face here, in a roomful of fashionable strangers, had she sustained a wine spill on a light- colored gown.

A waiter was kneeling by her feet to pick up the broken glass with his white- gloved hands. Don't worry, she thought she heard the blonde say, I'll make it up to you. Anna May was distracted by the heady fragrance of the blonde's handkerchief. There was nothing sweet about it. It reminded her of leather- bound books and the jute gunnysacks of Chinatown spice merchants.

The blonde winked.

Taken aback, Anna May tried to recall if she had ever been winked at by a woman. No, she believed this might be the first time. There was nothing spiteful in the blonde's eyes, but why else would one woman spill her drink on another at a fancy party?


All evening Leni attempted to put herself in the photographer's line of sight so he would take her picture. She knew him to be one Alfred Eisenstaedt, up and coming with the fashionable magazines, in good standing with the noteworthy papers.

Of all moments for him to choose to notice her, it had to be this: regrettably sandwiched between an Oriental visitor, who would surely snatch the focus of the photograph by way of those foreign looks, and the chintzy wannabe, whom Leni had spotted playing bit parts in recent movies. What an odd picture it would make, and how lucky for the blonde to be included in it at all, when she was not even a real actress, just another eager skirt trying to break into the industry! Leni could sniff out that skunky optimism from a mile off, and it took substantial effort to keep herself from wrinkling her nose at the woman.

Mentally distance yourself from mediocrity if you want to look good in the picture—

Teeth or no teeth?

No teeth— eyes carrying smile, chin tucked gently, elbow articulated just so as it fell against side of body. Leni had tested out enough self-portraits from different angles, with varying expressions, to discern that in general she photographed most enigmatically when she pressed her lips together and inclined her head. The first pneumatic temporized action device she bought as a self- timer for her shutter was spring powered. It offered a delay of one and a half to three seconds. When a cable- release model appeared on the market with a ninesecond upgrade, she ordered it immediately.

Leni wished she could check her appearance first in a mirror, but there was no time. Men like these, who favored a lightweight Leica over an imposing Hasselblad, were drawn to the putative authenticity of spontaneity.

First she stood in the middle of the two women, then she moved to the left. It would make a better portrait if the Chinese woman stood in the middle, and besides, if Leni stood at an angle, it would balance out her irregular gaze. When Leni was born, her mother cried bitterly upon seeing that her baby's eyes were slightly crossed. For nine months her mother prayed as she carried her to term: Dear God, give me a beautiful daughter who will become a famous actress! The ardor of her mother's prayer came from the ambition she'd stowed away in her own heart, one so secret yet so routine, so hallowed yet so trite, among girls across every epoch of time: she, too, had wanted to be an actress. Anything could be achieved, as long as you applied your will to it. All through her teenage years in suburban Berlin, Leni tried to coach her lazy eye into balance with a hand mirror, till it was barely noticeable in person. She only had to be careful in photos, wherein the defect was occasionally apparent.

Excerpted from Delayed Rays of a Star by Amanda Lee Koe. Copyright © 2019 by Amanda Lee Koe . Excerpted by permission of Nan A. Talese. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.