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Looking further along the row, he sees Alcimus and Automedon sitting side by side: once Achilles's chief aides, now his. Only it's not quite like that. They're in control, have been from the moment he arrived—propping up an inexperienced commander, glossing over his mistakes, always trying to make him look good in the eyes of the men. Well, today, tonight rather, all that's going to change. After tonight, he'll look into the eyes of men who fought beside Achilles and see nothing but respect, respect for what he achieved at Troy. Oh, of course he won't brag about it, probably won't even mention it. No, because he won't have to, everybody will know; they always do. He sees these men looking at him sometimes, doubting him. Well, not after tonight ... Tonight, he'll—
Oh my god, he needs a shit. He sits up straighter, trying to ignore the griping in his gut. When they'd climbed into the horse, there'd been a lot of joking about where to put the latrine buckets. "The arse end," Odysseus said. "Where else?" This produced a burst of laughter at the expense of those who were sitting at the back. Nobody has used the buckets yet and he desperately doesn't want to be the first. They'll all be holding their noses and making wafting movements in the air. It's just not fair, it's not fair. He should be thinking about important things, the war ending tonight in a blaze of glory—for him. He's trained for this for years—ever since he was old enough to lift a sword. Before that even, five, six years old, he'd been fighting with sharpened sticks, he was never not fighting, pummelling his nurse whenever she tried to calm him down. And now it's all happening, it's actually happening at last, and all he can think is: Suppose I shit myself?
The griping seems to be easing off a bit. Perhaps it'll be all right.
It's gone very quiet outside. For days, there's been the noise of ships being loaded, men singing, drums beating, bullroarers roaring, priests chanting—all of it as loud as possible because the Trojans were meant to hear. They've got to believe the Greeks are really going. Nothing must be left inside the huts, because the first thing they'll do is send reconnaissance parties down to the beach to check that the camp has actually been abandoned. It's not enough to move men and weapons. Women, horses, furniture, cattle—everything has to go.
Inside the horse, now, there's a growing murmur of uneasiness. They don't like this silence; it feels as if they've been abandoned. Twisting round on the bench, Pyrrhus squints through a gap between two planks, but can't see a bloody thing. "What the fuck's going on?" somebody asks. "Don't worry," Odysseus says, "they'll be back." And indeed only a few minutes later, they hear footsteps coming towards them up the beach, followed by a shout: "You all right in there?" A rumble of response. Then, what seems like hours later, though it's probably only minutes, the horse jerks forward. Immediately, Odysseus holds up his hand and, one by one, the lights go out.
Pyrrhus closes his eyes and imagines the struggling sweaty backs of men as they bend to the task of hauling this monster across the rutted ground to Troy. They have rollers to help, but even so it takes a long time—the land's pitted and scarred from ten long years of war. They know they're getting close when the priests start chanting a hymn of praise to Athena, guardian of cities. Guardian of cities? Is that a joke? Let's bloody hope she's not guarding this city. At last, the lurching stops and the men inside the horse's belly turn to stare at each other, their faces no more than pale blurs in the dim light. Is this it? Are they here? Another hymn to Athena, and then, after three final shouts in honour of the goddess, the men who've dragged the horse to the gates of Troy depart.
Excerpted from The Women of Troy by Pat Barker. Copyright © 2021 by Pat Barker. Excerpted by permission of Doubleday. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Be sincere, be brief, be seated
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