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Cleo nods, slowly scanning the room, the dirty window over the sink, the hole in its screen that lets bugs in through the summer, the stained walls and ceilings and tiled floors, the grout that will never be white again.
"This house feels familiar. I didn't come from money either. Did you know that?"
It's hard to imagine.
I shake my head.
"And I know what it's like to dream—in a place like this." She tilts her head to the side as she regards me. "And I know how dangerous that can be to do, if you're not strong enough."
"She always used to tell me it was better to know who you are than who you think you're meant to be. And then she'd tell me—"
And then she'd tell me who and what, exactly, I wasn't.
"No," Cleo says sharply. "It's always better to dream."
Something uncoils inside me.
"That's what I think too ... so I was headed to Aspera that day."
"Is that right? Why?"
Because when I was thirteen years old, I'd gone missing for just a little while. Because I was angry with my mother, and it was the kind of anger that puts one foot determinedly in front of the other as though it has some specific destination in mind. Because Nora James had turned fourteen without me there and the next day at school made me understand exactly what it was that I'd lost. Because she was surrounded by girls, girl-stars turned into one great girl-constellation, and there I was, staring up at them from the gutter. Because I should have been a star. Because when I was past the point of turning around and each step forward didn't feel as certain as the last, I stopped and a car pulled up beside me. Because when its window rolled down, there was a man inside: Cleo's husband, Matthew Hayes.
Are you the girl? he'd asked.
My skin prickles, like something big is about to be decided about my life, like that day at the mall. My gaze drifts to the window and I can't see Aspera from here—
But I can See it.
"Georgia," Cleo says. "Why?"
"Because I'm not afraid to dream."
I'm sorry, Mom, but I can see it.
Excerpted from I'm the Girl by Courtney Summers. Copyright © 2022 by Courtney Summers. Excerpted by permission of Wednesday Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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