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At that he brought his thoughts up short. He would not head in that
direction. He could not afford to head in that direction. He could not
afford to let his mind wander from the task that was immediately at hand.
"Listen to me." He grabbed his wallet from the chest and shoved
it into his pocket. "You're good enough for anyone. She got scared
shitless. She took a wrong turn. That's the end of it. Remember that. And
remember that everyone knows how good the two of you always were
together."
He had faith in this fact. Nicola Maiden and Julian Britton had been part
of each other's life for years. Everyone who knew them had long ago
concluded that they belonged together. It was only Nicola who, it
appeared, had never come to terms with this fact.
"I know that we were never engaged," he'd told her two nights
previously in response to her declaration that she was moving away from
the Peaks permanently and would only be back for brief visits henceforth.
"But we've always had an understanding, haven't we? I wouldn't be
sleeping with you if I wasn't serious about... Come on, Nick. Damn it, you
know me."
It wasn't the proposal of marriage he'd planned on making to her, and she
hadn't taken it as such. She'd said bluntly, "Jules, I like you
enormously. You're terrific, and you've been a real friend. And we get on
far better than I've ever got on with any other bloke."
"Then you see--"
"But I don't love you," she went on. "Sex doesn't equate to
love. It's only in films and books that it does."
He'd been too stunned at first to speak. It was as if his mind had become
a blackboard and someone had taken a rubber to it before he had a chance
to make any notes. So she'd continued.
She would, she told him, go on being his girlfriend in the Peak District
if that's what he wanted. She'd be coming to see her parents now and
again, and she'd always have time--and be happy, she said--to see Julian
as well. They could even continue as lovers whenever she was in the area
if he wished. That was fine by her. But as to marriage? They were too
different as people, she explained.
"I know how much you want to save Broughton Manor," she'd said.
"That's your dream, and you'll make it come true. But I don't share
that dream, and I'm not going to hurt either you or myself by pretending I
do. That's not fair on anyone."
Which was when he finally repossessed his wits long enough to say
bitterly, "It's the God damn money. And the fact I've got none, or at
least not enough to suit your tastes."
"Julian, it isn't. Not exactly." She'd turned from him briefly,
giving a long sigh. "Let me explain."
He'd listened for what had seemed like an hour, although she'd likely
spoken ten minutes or less. At the end, after everything had been said
between them and she'd climbed out of the Rover and disappeared into the
dark gabled porch of Maiden Hall, he'd driven home numbly, shell-shocked
with grief, confusion, and surprise, thinking No, she couldn't . . . she
can't mean No. After Sleepless Night Number One, he'd come to realise--past
his own pain--how great was the need for him to take action. He'd phoned,
and she'd agreed to see him. She would always, she said, be willing to see
him.
He gave a final glance in the mirror before he left the room, and he
treated himself to a last affirmation: "You were always good
together. Keep that in mind."
Excerpted from In Pursuit of the Proper Sinner by Elizabeth George. . Excerpted by permission of Bantam, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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