Excerpt from We Solve Murders by Richard Osman, plus links to reviews, author biography & more

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We Solve Murders by Richard Osman

We Solve Murders

A Novel

by Richard Osman
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  • First Published:
  • Sep 17, 2024, 400 pages
  • Paperback:
  • May 2025, 400 pages
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Print Excerpt


"Hey, Debs. We came second in the quiz yesterday. Norman from the shop had his brother in law staying and he's been on The Weakest Link, so we had no chance. The gang was going to lodge a complaint — all seemed a bit suspicious, you know — but I took a look at it all when I got back home, and he really is Norman's brother in law, so there's not a lot we can do. Trouble killed a vole, first one in a while; nice to know he's still got it in him. And he took it into Margaret's house, not ours, so that was a result. Just saw a new cat on Mason's Lane, ginger, tough guy, you know the sort. Umm ... Amy's working with Rosie D'Antonio, you know, the writer. Very beautiful, people say, but not my type. I'll send her your love. Amy, not Rosie D'Antonio. I'll get the gossip for you. There's a new pie at the shop, chicken and something. I think you can just heat it up in the microwave; I'll let you know if I feel adventurous. Nothing else this evening. Love you, Debs."

Steve switches off his Dictaphone and puts it back in his pocket. He pats the bench.

"Love you, doll. I'm going to see if that cat is still around."

Steve begins his walk back up the High Street. Tomorrow he is resuming the search for a dog that got lost on a local campsite; the owners, down from London, were understandably beside themselves. Steve knows how dogs think — he'll find him in no time. £500 they've paid him, upfront too, cash. Steve would have done it for £50. Londoners and their money are soon parted. And there's a local shop that has had money go missing from the till. Steve set up a remote camera last week, and he's going to head over to pick up the footage. It's the daughter of the owner — Steve worked that out almost immediately. Steve knows how people think too; they're surprisingly similar to dogs, in actual fact. But the owner isn't going to believe it was her daughter until she sees the evidence.

Axley is peaceful and quiet, and Steve is grateful for it. Other old coppers he knew, they're all in their late 50s now, are still chasing around on dodgy knees for dodgy bosses, drinking or smoking or stressing themselves to death. But Steve understands how life ends, and he has no intention of raging against it.

You can't have the thrills of life without the pain of life, so Steve has decided to go without the thrills. He chooses to watch the TV, to do his pub quizzes, to help people when he can, but always to return to his armchair with a cat called Trouble.

When you arrest someone, you generally get two different types of reaction. Some people kick and scream all the way to the cells, while others go quietly, knowing the game is up.

Who knows when your own game will be up? When you're standing on that platform and the train derails?

Whenever it might be, Steve intends to go quietly.

Excerpted from We Solve Murders by Richard Osman. Copyright © 2024 by Richard Osman. Excerpted by permission of Pamela Dorman Books. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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