Can Nonfiction Be Too Revealing?: Background information when reading Calypso

Can Nonfiction Be Too Revealing?

This article relates to Calypso

On May 24, 2013, Tiffany Sedaris, sister of writer David Sedaris, died by suicide. Shortly after, David penned an essay for the New Yorker, entitled Now We are Five. In true Sedaris fashion, the essay doesn't focus entirely on Tiffany or the circumstances of her death, but instead looks at the situation through the lens of complicated, ever-evolving family dynamics. In a closely-knit clan, Tiffany was a thread that never quite fit.

Although the response to the piece was largely positive, there were also many who were incensed. People who claimed to know Tiffany intimately were appalled by Sedaris's description of her – mentally ill, unpredictable, substance abusing – and spoke angrily on behalf of their deceased friend. The backlash that Sedaris faced is not new in the literary world, in fact it is a common trope for nonfiction authors who use their personal lives as inspiration. Is it ethical to write about family members? Is it fair to drag them, unwitting, into the public eye? The literary landscape has a variety of opinions on the matter.

Anne Lamott, prominent novelist and nonfiction writer, makes the bold claim that you "own everything that happened to you." Names and details may be changed, but ultimately your story is yours to tell. In the case of Augusten Burroughs, the decision to tell his tale resulted in a nasty lawsuit. His memoir, Running With Scissors portrayed his adoptive family as unhygienic, perverse and more than a little eccentric. The Turcottes, on whom the book's Finch family is based, filed suit. Although the full results of their settlement are not known, they won a small battle – the right to strip the category of memoir from the story.

While Burroughs faced a messy outcome after using family as literary fodder, lawsuits of this sort are rare. They hinge on the ability to prove either defamation or invasion of privacy, both of which are difficult to substantiate, unless names or details explicitly identify the subject or subjects. More common, however, is family strife and alienation. In the case of Sedaris, Tiffany was outspoken in her dislike of being included in his stories, even speaking out against him in an interview for the Boston Globe. Colm Toibin, acclaimed Irish novelist and essayist, discussed his mother's aversion to being portrayed in his writing, claiming that she went as far as threatening to write her own book to discredit him.

When examined more closely, the frustration and anger felt by families and friends who find themselves characters in stories is simple: they feel that they have lost their voice. Our actions make sense only in the context of our lives and when that context is stripped away, they may seem callous or inexplicable, may portray us as villains instead of the heroes we imagine ourselves to be. For those who choose to write about the people in their lives, listen to those who have done it best. Consider, for example, Cheryl Strayed's advice to be ruthless with yourself and gentle with others. Or examine your reasons for writing with Richard Russo's words in your thoughts – "Am I trying to hurt anybody with this?"

The advice rings true not only for the purposes of keeping family close, but also for the sake of good writing. A story fueled by revenge is rarely as interesting as one fueled by care and honesty. We all like to root for the protagonist, a desire made much more difficult in the face of self-righteousness or unwarranted self-pity. If we are to learn anything from the nonfiction authors that we admire, it is to tell the truth, as fully and compassionately as possible. Should that truth ruffle feathers, so be it, for those are the feathers that need ruffling.

David Sedaris and siblings, left to right: Amy, David, Gretchen, Paul, Lisa, and Tiffany, courtesy of vice.com. Photo courtesy of Lisa Sedaris Evans
Scapegoat, courtesy of pro.psychcentral.com

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This "beyond the book article" relates to Calypso. It originally ran in June 2018 and has been updated for the June 2019 paperback edition. Go to magazine.