BookBrowse Reviews All My Puny Sorrows by Miriam Toews

BookBrowse:

All My Puny Sorrows shines light on what it means to love someone who wants to die.

In her latest novel, All My Puny Sorrows, Miriam Toews explores the relationship between two sisters: Yolandi (Yoli) and Elfrieda (Elf). Yoli's life is somewhat of a mess: she's been married twice and is in the process of getting a second divorce, she's had multiple affairs, and her finances are a disaster. Elfrieda, the older of the two, is the polar opposite of her sibling and seems to have it all – a loving husband, a glamorous career, wealth – but wants to die. Much of the novel concerns Yoli's struggle to be a pillar of strength to her family, even though she's just barely holding it together herself, and her effort to understand her sister's repeated attempts at suicide. The book asks whether it is reasonable to want to die because one is "weary of life" and what is our responsibility to those we love, who are consumed by such intense emotional pain.

Toews draws heavily from her own experiences as she has done in her previous works. Like Yoli, her elder sister attempted suicide several times. All My Puny Sorrows consequently reads almost like a memoir, and the heroine's contemplations seem powerfully heartfelt and emotionally charged; this is a deeply personal book. Toews' writing is remarkable in that she's able to convey that emotion so palpably to her readers. For example, at one point the girls' mother despairs because she feels Elf isn't getting adequate psychiatric care:

I put my arms around her. She was sobbing, suddenly, shaking. A keening wail I'd never heard from her before. I held her as tightly as I could and kissed her soft, white hair.
She's a human being, my mother whispered.
We held our embrace in the doorway for a long time. I agreed with her. I said yes. Finally my mother was able to catch her breath and speak. She couldn't bear to see Elf in the psych ward. That prison, she said. They do nothing. If she doesn't take the pills they won't talk to her. They wait and they badger and they badger and they wait and they badger. She began to cry again, this time quietly. She's a human being, she said again. Oh Elfrieda, my Elfrieda.

This is a story you don't just read, you feel it in your gut and down into your bones.

The narrative is also peppered with exquisitely descriptive passages that completely pull readers into the author's world. In one instance she writes, I stood on my mom's balcony and listened to the ice breaking up. It sounded like gunfire, a mob scene playing out over a track of roaring animals. The moon was full and hanging low like a pregnant cat. I was struck again and again by her unusual yet completely apt observations, and found myself pausing often to simply enjoy the text's beauty and imagery.

Additionally, Toews' characters are interesting and complex, each displaying hidden motives and contradictions that make them completely human. Yoli, for example, desperately wants to keep her sister alive, and at the same time explores assisted suicide options because she can't bear to see her in such pain. Yoli is a complicated mash-up of conflicting emotions and frustrations, as are the other characters portrayed. While they might be drawn from the author's life, Toews' ability to convey their thoughts and personalities so vividly is really quite a remarkable accomplishment.

My only quibble is a technical one; the author doesn't use quotation marks, and from time to time it is confusing to figure out which character is speaking or whether something is being spoken aloud or just thought. Given the stellar nature of every other aspect of the book, though, this is a very minor complaint and one that shouldn't keep most readers from fully enjoying the novel.

All My Puny Sorrows is surprisingly uplifting considering the weighty themes with which it wrestles. True, there's a lot of pain embedded in its pages, but ultimately Yoli's unconditional and near-reverential love for her sister are what will remain with readers. Toward the end of the novel, the author cites D.H. Lawrence: "We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen." I think the quote also helps explains why the book feels so positive in spite of its grim subject matter - the story becomes one of survival and acceptance, of moving on and healing. I can't recommend this one highly enough to anyone looking for a book that's both complex and well-written. Book clubs in particular will find that the themes the author explores, make great discussion topics.

This review was originally published in The BookBrowse Review in January 2015, and has been updated for the September 2015 edition. Click here to go to this issue.