BookBrowse Reviews Numb to This by Kindra Neely

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This graphic memoir for young adults offers unflinching insight into the persistent trauma experienced after a mass shooting.

Unnerved by rising gun crime in their native Texas, Kindra Neely and her mother relocated to Oregon for the final years of her education. Sadly, however, their move would not be enough to keep them from the reaches of America's gun violence problem. Neely was a student at Umpqua Community College on October 1, 2015, when a 26-year-old man entered the building with multiple guns and opened fire. He killed nine people and wounded seven others, before taking his own life during a standoff with police. Though Neely was not physically harmed during the incident, her young adult graphic memoir Numb to This documents her mental health struggles in the years that followed, exploring the reality of living with PTSD, panic attacks, depression and suicidal thoughts, all with powerful frankness.

Given the distressing subject matter, Numb to This is perhaps not a book to be entered lightly. That said, Neely counters the darkness of her story somewhat with the boldness and vibrancy of her artwork. Not only does the visual aspect of the memoir make the content feel more digestible, it fits thematically with Neely's personal use of art as a means of escapism and therapy. She recalls, for instance, creating a memorial for the victims and applying to art school to facilitate a move from a town now tainted by her grief.

Throughout the timeframe of the text, Neely's focus becomes a desire to create a book that will help herself and others process the trauma of surviving a mass shooting — and what it means to live in America in an age where such attacks have become so commonplace. It is poignant, as a reader, to realize you are holding the culmination of that goal, that she has succeeded in channeling her pain into something positive that will help people like her feel seen and understood, while also helping others to better sympathize with their lived experiences.

The writing strikes a conversational tone, comparable to a heart-to-heart between friends. This enhances the book's approachability, while serving as a powerful reminder that extreme events can and do touch the lives of ordinary people on a daily basis. Avoiding sensationalism of any kind, Numb to This is a raw, no-frills portrayal of one young woman's very personal journey towards healing. Regular references to events from the recent history of a fraught nation — such as Trump taking power and the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub — place her story firmly within modern America.

Though Neely never shies away from portraying the difficulties she has faced — and continues to face — the very existence of Numb to This is a testament to her resilience, not to mention tangible proof that recovery is possible. Sad and anxiety-inducing, yet ultimately full of hope for a better future, her story is at once unique and tragically common.

This review first ran in the October 19, 2022 issue of BookBrowse Recommends.