My fellow Americans, I, Dr. Wantstokillmyselfafterthisbook Jr. the 3rd, have found the CURE for INSOMNIACS! Just read this HORRID and DREADFUL book and you'll be sleeping like a baby.

Warning

May cause user to want to kill themselves.
May cause blindness.
If read more than a paragraph a day, user might fall into a coma and die a horrible book related death.

The End.