(2/13/2019)
Have you ever been in the position of judging someone else’s lifestyle? Saying to yourself I Would Never Do That, No Matter What!
This is a novel which may give you pause.
Husband, David, is married to wife, Kate, who has Alzheimer’s. They have been married 25 years and the last five of which, Kate has been sick -- kept at home for three years and moved to a facility two years ago.
During the course of one visit, David runs into complications with the insurance coverage and receives the help of Jane, the social worker who handles this kind of issue at the facility. She helps him unwind the spool of disorder and he is relieved.
David is exhausted with caring for his wife, lonely for companionship, sad at her sickness, and angry that life has treated her, and them, this way.
He and Jane meet for coffee, for dinner, and the inevitable happens. They fall in love.
David assures Jane that he cannot divorce his wife; that would be cruel and it would affect the insurance coverage. He does not believe he is cheating on Kate because she isn’t really there; only her physical body is there. Jane, a woman I thought would be much smarter, buys this and they begin a relationship.
As people discover what is going on, neighbors, friends, the couple explain themselves, people are shocked, but they understand.
Meanwhile, Kate is enrolled in a trial which, like all medical trials, may or may not be successful.
I can go no further without spoilers, so I will stop here.
From this point on, you are on the fence, no matter which character you root for. Does Kate get better? Does Kate get worse? Stay the same? What about Jane? How does David live with the situation? How do his college aged boys deal with it?
Interestingly enough, People magazine, February 18, 2019, page 55 – 57, features an article about this subject. The wife has dementia, the husband falls in love with another woman, and change occurs. What kind of change and for whom, I leave you to discover.
The only problem I had with this book is that there were no bad guys. No one to blame, no one to condemn, no one to hate. I would have liked to point a finger in shame at someone, but I couldn’t do it.
Read it and see what you would do.